


An Unexpected Turn of Events

by mjeanuniverse



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fili/Dwalin (implied), Fili/Thorin (implied), Fili/Thorin/female original character (Thranduil's wife) non-canon, Fili/female original character (Thranduil's wife) non-canon, Foursome - F/M/M/M, M/M, Mentioned Kíli/Tauriel, Multi, Oral Sex, Threesome - F/M/M, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-04 15:41:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 24,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3073298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjeanuniverse/pseuds/mjeanuniverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the dwarves are captured in Mirkwood, Thranduil plans to use Fili for his pleasure to torment Thorin, but something happens that Thranduil had not considered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arrival in the Elf Kingdom

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any of the characters or the world created by JRR Tolkien
> 
> UPDATE- Originally this was a one-shot that has since taken on a life of it's own as ideas just keep popping into my head. Smutty ideas,very smutty ideas indeed. So...I have expanded it to a multi-chapter fic. I will update tags as appropriate as I add dwarves and I assure you, more dwarves will be added to the upcoming smut scenes, but fair warning if you are a Kili/Tauriel fan, please move on. This fic is not for you. While I do not hate on them, I do poke fun. Don't like that idea? Simple, don't read. You've been warned.

The elven king wrinkles his nose in disgust at the sight of thirteen, yes, thirteen of the dirtiest, smelliest dwarves he has ever had the displeasure to see and that, by Valar, is saying something! Stinking up his grand kingdom, hands bound in front of them, covered in spider webs and goodness knows what else, the thirteen are a pathetic sight, even for dwarves. 

Ah, it is Thorin Oakenshield, of course, bumbling his way, with this small band in tow, to Erebor, obviously. Would they honestly risk waking the dragon? There is Thorin standing regel and tall, well as tall as someone five foot tall can muster. If Thranduil is honest with himself, the dwarven king is quite majestic. It’s just something about how he holds himself, really. 

Thranduil’s eyes sweep over the rag-tag group of dwarves behind the dark haired dwarf king. Nothing special here he thinks until his gaze lands on the small dwarf with the moustache braids and the same haughty carriage as Thorin Oakenshield himself. Oh ho- what do we have here? Just as dirty, smelly, and web-covered as the others, but this dwarf is blonde, beautifully blonde. The royal braids in his hair mark him as belonging to the line of Durin. Now the question is, is he of the blood line of Durin the Deathless or does he belong to Thorin Oakenshield? We shall see, the elven king smirks to himself. 

‘That one, bring that one to me,’ he says coolly, nodding his head to indicate Fili. One of the elven guards roughly grabs Fili by both the golden fur lining his traveling coat and the golden hair on the lad’s head and manhandles or rather elfhandles him to stand in front of Thranduil. Fili grits his teeth but refuses to show any sign that he is in pain. 

Valiantly striving for an air of unconcerned, nonchalance, Fili straightens himself to his full height, which is not much as he is rather short even among other dwarves, to stand proud and erect in front of the Elven King, towering above him. Thranduil struggles to contain his excitement as the sight of this handsome, arrogant lad, almost still a dwarfling really and blonde to boot. Oh how Thranduil does love blondes. He, himself is blonde after all. And young, Thranduil does love them young, too. 

Thorin catches the gleam in eyes of the elf king, the flare of his nostrils as his eyes roam up and down his eldest nephew’s body. Thranduil has the look and barely contained composure of one who is dying of thirst and has just found a pool of sparkling fresh water, savoring the moment before plunging in headlong. Oh hell no, Thorin thinks. He will not just stand by and let that damn elf ogle his nephew and heir! 

Before the dwarven king can say a word; however, Thranduil crisply orders one of the guards to escort the blonde to his private bathing chamber and then turns to the remaining guards and sharply commands that they take the other dwarves to the holding cells. 

‘What!?!” roars Thorin as he struggles against his bounds and the hands of the elven guards. It takes the other dwarves a few beats before they register what the elven king had said, but once they do, they begin to struggle and roar as well. Thorin throws himself at Fili, to get to the lad, to protect him from the leering elf, but the iron grip of several elven guards keep him firmly in place. He sees Dwalin almost break free only to be set upon by a mob of elven guards. 

Smirking over his shoulder at Thorin's impotent rage, Thranduil glides away from the roiling mass of snarling, spitting dwarves and elves. The guard drags Fili along following in the wake of his king’s flowing robes. 

 

The steam and heat of the grand private bathing chamber is quite nice really, Fili thinks, before he can remind himself that, no, he must be as strong and as stotic as Thorin would be in this situation. 

‘Undress,’ Thranduil commends the moment the guard leaves. 

Oh shit, Fili thinks. Shit, shit, shit. What the hell would Thorin do? 

‘For every second you make me wait, ten lashes will be administered to each and every one of your company,’ the elven king’s voice is hard as diamonds. 

Well nothing left for it then. Fili slowly unbuckles his belt and lets it fall to the floor. His other garments follow until he is stark naked. Oh my, my, my Thranduil thinks, licking his lips. 

‘You are very beautiful,’ he breathes. ‘For a dwarf,’ he hastily adds. No reason to give the lad a big head. Well, the lad does have a big, very big head on his long, thick cock, but that is beside the point. 

‘Now bathe. I want you with a clean body and fresh-smelling hair when I come back. I need to have a little chat with your fearless leader.’ Thranduil sweeps round and out of the door, calling to a guard to bring the dark haired Thorin Oakenshield to his throne room. 

‘And what do we have here?’ a quiet, lilting voice asks huskily. 

Fili whirls around to see the round, wide eyes of a slim elf maid staring fixedly at him. Her intent gaze roams over his small, lithe body. Stark naked herself and her pale skin shimmering wet from her recent bath, Elanen, the queen of the wood elves, Thranduil’s wife can track the eyes of the blonde dwarf as he takes in her lush body. Catching his eye, she smiles warmly at his flushed face, and then slowly trails her eyes down to his equally flushed cock as it starts to swell and fill with blood. 

Oh shit, oh flaming Mahal’s balls is a running mantra within Fili’s head. He cannot, simply cannot keep his erection from rearing up when he looks at the elf maid and her creamy and totally naked body. He likes both dwarrows and dwarrowdams but elves?! Well hell, when in Mirkwood….

 

Thranduil enjoys riling up the dwarven King Under the Mountain. Thorin is shouting about honor and how, he, Thranduil lacks all honor, blah, blah, blah. Thranduil is not really listening. He is thinking about the lovely treat waiting for him back in his private bath. Finally, after Thranduil demands the return of his starlight gems to secure the dwarves’ release, Thorin tells him to do a very rude thing to himself. 

‘Well, I will go fuck, but it will not be myself, thank you. I intend to make good use of the little, blonde one with the Durin braids.’ He smirks in Thorin’s face. 

‘Stay away from him,’ Thorin warns in a low voice. ‘Touch him and you will not live to regret it.’

‘Quite?’ Thranduil really is enjoying himself. ‘So he wears the braids to mark him as what? Heir? King’s consort?’

Thorin pales and tries to mask his surprise that Thranduil would guess his relationship with Fili. Thorin is very good at schooling his features into an unreadable façade, but Thranduil is equally good at reading various emotions as they flit briefly across an adversary’s face. 

Both? Hmm…well that is interesting. He can use the young blonde to torment Thorin with the knowledge that he will use his golden princeling heir and chosen consort as bedsport. Excellent, this day is getting better and better. 

Legolas comes bursting into the throne room, unannounced and unbidden. Thranduil is so shocked at his son’s unusual behavior that he doesn’t speak immediately. This pause gives Legolas the opportunity to voice the reason that he has interrupted his father. 

‘Mother, it’s mother….’ Legolas splutters to a halt.

‘What of your mother?’ Thranduil snaps, irritated beyond belief. The boy is blithering about his mother, for fuck’s sake? At a time like this? Really??

Legolas rallies, ‘Mother and the blonde dwarf, they are… they are in the bath…together.’ And that is as much as he is willing to say, thank you very much. 

‘What do you mean, in the bath, together?’ Thranduil asks a little stunned. He had not thought of the possibility of Elanen occupying the bath. In his lust for the little dwarf, he had forgotten all about his wife. Another thought comes to him suddenly, he remembers that she likes them blonde and young, too. Oh shit.

‘What are they…ehm…doing?’ He hates to ask. Legolas blanches at the question but stanchly refuses to answer it. Thranduil bolts for the door, Thorin hot on his heels. 

‘Yes, oh yes, Valar yes, right there…ahhhh…I’m gonna…I’m coming,’ Elanen’s voice raises to a wail. Thranduil skids to a stop in doorway that leads from the royal private bath to the queen’s chamber. Thorin crashes into the back of the elf king, pushing them into the dimly lit room. 

There on the bed is the beautiful, blonde lad, braced up on his arms, pumping frantically, balls deep in the equally beautiful elf queen’s slit. Her legs wrap tightly around his fiercely flexing hips, and her nails rake down his back as she tries to pull him closer into herself. 

‘I’m going to shoot...ahhh…shoot my load…can’t hold it…can’t hold back…ahhhhh!’ The lad chokes out, his hips stuttering wildly as his seed is released spurt after spurt deep into her womb. 

‘Oh, oh, that’s it. Yes, inside,’ the elven queen coos softly. The young dwarf sinks down onto her soft body, breathing heavily. She runs her fingers tenderly through his blonde locks, smiling up at him. Fili sighs and bends to kiss her gently on the mouth. 

Thranduil stands stock still, completely gob-smacked. It is Thorin’s turn to smirk. ‘Yes, that is my heir and consort.’ he says proudly with a smug smile on his lips.


	2. Passing time while in Mirkwood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dwarves while away the hours in the dungeon of the Elf Kingdom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This had originally been a one-shot, but the ideas just kept coming, so.... There will be several more chapters, and I will update tags as appropriate. I am warming up to get into some serious smut and I will be adding more dwarves to the mix in the upcoming chapters. 
> 
> Just a warning if you are a huge fan of Kili/Tauriel, move on, this fic is not for you. You have been warned.

Fili sits in his cell, quietly humming to himself. His memories of the scene post shooting his load deep into the elf queen was a schoash fuzzy at best, as most of the blood in his body was elsewhere than his brain, but he did seem to remember a great deal of shouting in elfish, a very pleasant thrumming throughout his body, and elven guards yanking him up by his hair. Uncool dude, very uncool. 

And oh yes, the best part, the very best part, well aside from the mind-numbing climax he had experienced moments earlier, was the look on Thranduil’s face, like a turd was sitting just under his very regal, very elfish nose. Fili cannot help but chuckle to himself. Priceless, simply fucking priceless. 

Then there was Thorin’s grinning, yes grinning, face. Fairly priceless that as well. Fili can only remember a handful of times when a grin has graced his stern, dare he say grumpy, uncle’s face. Thorin’s face is quite fetching when he smiles. Fili loves pulling a gentle smile from his uncle, but tonight his uncle was positively beaming. 

 

For his part, even though it is hours later, Thorin is still grinning as he sits in his cell. Damn, he loves his little, blonde nephew. He has been fucking Fili since the moment the lad came of age. What of it if the boy is his sister son? Thorin can count on one hand the number of blonde dwarves he has seen in his one hundred, ninety plus years, and the sight of the flowing golden hair of his golden heir drives him insane with lust. Just plain insane. 

Something else is driving him insane, now, the droning sound of his other nephew, dark haired Kili, chatting up the red-headed, elven captain of the guard. Seriously, wouldn’t the captain of the fucking guard have something better to do? Listening to those two giggle over a runestone for hours like pre-adolescent maidens is making his head hurt. Unbelievable.

A tall, dern-looking elf strides into view, down past the dwarf king’s cell. He goes past the captain of the guard without a glance. She finally notices him as he sweeps down the corridor. With a frown on her face, she asks him what his business is. He not does even spare her a glance. He calmly goes straight to Fili’s cell, opens the door, and beckons for the young dwarf inside to come out. 

Mahal bless Fili, he is fearless as he strolls out of his cell; however, fear twists in Thorin’s gut. Who is this elf who obviously has no regard nor respect for the captain of the guard? Is he here to come fetch Fili so Thranduil can torture him? Execute him? Thorin would not put anything past that asshole, Thranduil. 

Tauriel, Thorin catches Kili’s voice as he begs the captain of the guard to stop the other elf from removing his brother from his cell. His sister- son called her Tauriel? Gods, those two are on a first name basis now? But he is thankful when he hears her hushed response that the tall elf is not one of Thranduil’s guards and therefore, she has no power to order him to do anything. 

Some captain of the guard, Thorin snorts, rolling his eyes. He watches under lowered brows, but notices as the tall elf stalks past his cell, pushing Fili in front of him, the crest on the back of the elf’s uniform. Thorin exhales a breath he had not realized he had been holding. The crest is that of the elf queen. He is one of her guards. Hmmm, this is another interesting turn. 

Fili strolls calmly even though the elf is prodding him to move faster. Screw him. He may very well be taking Fili to his death for all the blonde knows for he has not seen the crest on the elf’s uniform, and he does not know where or to whom he is being taken. 

‘Would you pick up the pace, dwarf?’ the elf finally hisses. ‘The queen is very impatient to see you again.’

‘The queen wishes to see me? Truly? ‘ A slow smile spreads across Fili’s face and he does quickens his pace just a bit. 

The elf just rolls his eyes. Fetching bedsport is NOT in his Valar-damned job description he is quite sure, especially a little-bitty, blonde dwarf for fuck’s sake, but what the queen wants, the queen gets.


	3. Return to the Elf Queen's chambers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili is summoned back to the elf queen's bed chamber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is almost, not quite, but almost devoid of plot and is just smut. Hope you like it.

Elanen, the elven queen of the Woodland Realm, is squirming on her silken sheets. Valar-damn Thranduil and his ridiculous eyebrows, too she fumes. After having the most adorable and so surprisingly well-hung, little blonde dwarf literally dropped into her bath, Elanen had taken it as divine providence and had just had the best lay of her life, her over a thousand year life for fuck’s sake! In what should have been her post coital bliss, her petite-mort if you will, Elanen was just enjoying the sensation of semen flooding her insides for the first time in gods only knew how long, but what happened instead? Thranduil, that’s what, Thranduil and his dark uni-brow which had almost disappeared in his equally ridiculous hairline. 

Then there was the shouting. Thranduil rarely shouted, but oh ho, he had shouted then. Shouting for the blonde to ‘Stop! Just stop! Don’t you rare you little shit!’ in that tone he gets when he is helpless to stem the onslaught of some disaster, like a fly landing in his wine glass. As if, she snorts at the memory. That lad could have not stemmed his release into her if Azog the Defiler had been breathing down his neck. And she would not have cared if the Pale Orc had been there either for that matter. 

Not only was the blonde dwarf, she had not caught his name during their time together so she only referred to him as the blonde dwarf, exceptionally well-endowed in the penis area, but gods, did the lad know how to use it! She muses to herself, dwarves are well known for their craftsmanship and their handiness and aptitude for using tools, but in all her years, she had not had such a good fuck. 

Yes, he is obviously young and that works in his favor in some respects, but he also could use his long, fat cock expertly, rubbing his bulbous red knob against her clit before he shoved it in and using his thick middle finger to push her over the edge into her climax. Elanen shivers at the memory. A certain part of her anatomy starts to quivers and clench, too. Ah, poor thing, it is empty, so empty and it so, so wants another round. Well, only one thing to be done she thinks, and sighing, the elf queen summons her most loyal guard. 

 

Fili skips ahead of the Mr. Tall and Scowlly elf. His own anatomy is responding to the memories of his time spent with the elf queen and the thought of returning to her bed chamber. He supposes she has a name, but he does not know it. He must remedy that on arrival. He was raised to be a royal and regal gentle-dwarf by his mother and uncle after all or rather as gentle as a dwarf can be. The blonde dwarf prince stands by bouncing impatiently as the elven guard unlocks the door to the queen’s chambers and is thrust back sharply when he tries to dart around the guard with the deep scowl on his face. 

‘Wait! What is your name again, dwarf?’

‘Uh,’ Fili hestitates. Should he give a false name he wonders? Fuck it. ‘Fili’ he answers loud and clear. 

‘Please allow Master Fili entry’ purrs Elanen. Tall and Scowlly just rolls eyes and unbelievably, scowls more fiercely. 

‘I am right outside this door, dwarf.’ He breathes in a hiss into Fili’s face. 

‘Hope you like what you hear, dude. Feel free to wank if need be.’ Fili smirks back at the dour face as the elf it belongs to yanks the door closed.

Swaggering just as mightily as he had when he had first entered Bag End all those months ago, Fili saunters into the candle light chamber as if he owned it. The sight of the elf queen reclining on her back, naked and knees spread wide, lightly rubbing her sex, rocks him back on his heels though. Throat suddenly dry and parched, cock just as suddenly, rock hard and aching, Fili can only gape for a moment or two before he regains his footing. You are the crown prince and heir to the damn throne of Erebor if we ever reclaim it that is, he reminds himself sternly. Now act like it!

‘It is good to make you acquaintance again, my lady.’ Fili says in a formal tone, lifting his chin as Thorin had always taught him. 

‘Elanen, it is Elanen.’ She smiles and whispers, beckoning him closer. 

‘Ah, Elanen, then, what is it you’ll have me do, my lady?’ Fili would bet his and his brother’s lives on what she wants, but he wants to hear her say it.

‘Ah, well, it seems I have a problem, a problem right in here apparently.’ The elf queen moans as she pushes a finger inside her dripping entrance, warming to his little game. ‘Can you help with it?’ 

The blonde prince does not answer immediately. He just gazes at her finger as it slowly dips in and out, in and out. ‘I think…you will have to tell a little more so I may fix the problem properly.’ He moves closer to the bed but has not moved to undress yet. 

‘Really? Quite considerate of you, Master Fili. You see it is inside here. It has gotten so terribly wet, dripping wet in fact and I have this awful ache inside. I think you may have just the right tool to ease the pain.’ Elanen is writhing on the bed now, one hand fingering her clit, the other pinching one of her nipples. 

‘Hmmm…I’ve seen this problem before, but the tool I believe you have in mind, is slightly soiled. Perhaps you could clean it for me?’ he cocks his head and smiles impishly at her squirming form on the bed. 

‘Clean it?’ the elf queen is rather nonplussed by that question. Does he want to bathe again? 

‘Yes, a thorough cleaning is in order…with your tongue.’

Elanen stares at the arrogant youth with eyelids hooded with lust. Oh yes, she can do that, quite. She slides off the bed onto her knees and waits, licking her lips to moisten them in preparation. He is front of her in a blink of an eye, pulling at his laces and finally freeing his ramrod straight erection.

She slides her soft hands up and down along his thighs and then moves her slightly opened mouth to rest just against his throbbing knob and stops. Flicking her eyes up to his face, she waits. He rocks his hips forward, nudging her lips, encouraging her to take him into her mouth. 

‘Please,’ he moans, breathless and panting now. 

Slowly she parts her lips and lets her tongue roam over, under, and around the head. 

‘Ahh…yes’ is the only sound he can manage. Words and coherent thought are beyond him. 

It has been hundreds of years since Elanen has given head, but muscle memory takes over and she happily sucks and licks this blonde dwarf’s lovely cock. She pushes her tongue against the large vein on the underside of his shaft and then trails her tongue up to flick along the underside of the head. She sucks the head into mouth and bobs her head in a steady rhythm. Finally, as she feels his cockhead start to pulse and harden even more, knowing he is fast approaching his climax, she swallows the entire length of him down to the root. 

‘Mahal…ahh…yes! That’s it, that’s it…ahhhhh!’ He pants loudly, his breathing increasing in volume and intensity. He has never had his cock down someone’s throat before. It feels incredible. Then she swallows around his cock, and he is done. He comes with a choked cry, groaning loudly as he feels her throat constrict around his cockhead , squeezing it again and again in her effort to swallow line after line of his jizz straight into her belly.


	4. TIme spent in the floor and in thought

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Elanen spend more time together. Thranduil spends time thinking on how he will get revenge. Landir (you will find out who he is) is NOT happy with his lot in life at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good God this is fun to write. I hope anyone who reads it, may find it as half as fun to read as it is for me to write. 
> 
> I own nothing of this characters expect for the bits I am shamelessly making up along the way.

The elven queen laps the last of the young blonde dwarf’s seed from the slit on his cock. Ymmm, so good, she thinks to herself. Youth has such a sweet fresh taste. She glances up to see his head thrown back, mouth wide open, gasping for breath. Good, that should temper the lad’s arrogance a bit. Elanen leans back to look at the young dwarf’s face. Totally wrecked, she smirks to herself. 

Standing spaddle-legged, trying to suck oxygen into his lungs as he seems to be incapable of catching his breath, Fili floats on a cloud of bliss from the post-orgasmic aftershocks. Finally, he shudders violently, as he feels the elf queen’s tongue slide under his cockhead and into his tender slit to catch the last burble of jizz. Shit, that was amazing, he thinks as he slowly regains his ability to form cognitive thought. 

  

Fili sinks to the floor so that he is face to face with Elanan, as her lips smeared with his thick cream, spread lazily into a smile. He feels his cock twitch again. Sweet Mahal, this elf maid may, in fact, be trying to kill me, he thinks. 

 

Thranduil has been contemplating what the hell to do with the little blonde dwarf. Little fuck, he thinks indignantly. That little fucking shit came, CAME in his wife, an act he himself has not done in over a hundred years, thank you very much! And to add insult to injury, from all appearances, she quite enjoyed it! He should execute them both he mused sourly. 

No, she is kin to the Stewards of Gondor’s and to elves of Lothlorian, so he can’t just have her beheaded or anything that drastic. There would be hell to pay from the race of men AND that super bossy bitch, Lady Galadriel. Then there is that damn meddling jackwad of a wizard, Gandalf the Grey. HE would have something to say if Thranduil was to lop off Elanen’s head. But that little shit of a dwarf, he sure as hell can behead him, the elf king is warming to this idea.

Well, no, Thorin would be a problem, Thranduil reconsiders. He would not take kindly to his heir and consort to being put to death, no matter how much the little shit DESERVED it. I mean really, the little ass was caught red handed, or rather red dicked, FUCKING his wife, grunting and groaning as if there were no tomorrow . If that did not merit beheading, what did? The dwarves of Erebor have no power, now, but Thorin’s ass of a cousin, Dain of the Iron Hills, has an army. They could make things…ah, unpleasant for the Woodland Realm. Fuck and double fuck. Thranduil decides to table all thoughts of beheading anyone in favor of joining the Festival of Starlight that the Woodland Realm is celebrating tonight to get shit-faced blotto. He would think on a proper punishment for the blonde later. 

 

In Elanen’s chamber, Fili lies by the elf queen’s side, slowly circling his finger around and flicking over her clit. As her moans rise in pitch, he pushes a thick digit into her dripping slit, still slick from her own juices and his previously deposited seed.

‘Fuck me, please…’ she moans. After swallowing his load, Elanen had laid herself out on the floor next to her ornate bed. Valar bless the little dwarf, as he immediately began to finger her clit. When he doesn’t respond to her pleas right away, she begs more, ‘please, my pussy is so empty, Master Fili, please…I need your stiff cock.’

Hmmm, Fili thinks, if a beautiful female begging you to shove your cock into her aching pussy did not get you hard, nothing would. Having just shot a load down her throat, his cock is still in the process of recovering and not hard yet, but it will get there soon he thinks. Rolling on top of her lush body, Fili rubs his knob against her clit. 

‘Is this what you want?’ he teases. 

‘Ahhh,’ is Elanen’s only vocal response, but she spreads her legs wider, and tries to roll her hips so that his erection has a better angle to slip into her slickness. 

‘Not quite ready yet, my lady.’ He purrs and continues to stimulate her swollen, pink bud. Fili is braced up on one arm, the other occupied with the nudging and sliding the velvety soft head of his slowly hardening cock against her, just at the right spot. 

It feels so good, but Elanen wants to feel his big, hard erection, inside her again, filling that desperately empty place deep in her. Little tease, she thinks. I’ll give him a surprise, and her hands snake over the mounds of his muscular ass, to delve into the cleft there, seeking the dusky pink rose hidden deep within. 

For a moment the arrogant youth freezes as he feels her slippery finger circle his rim. But to her total amazement, as blonde gazes straight into her smirking face, he widens his knees, arches his spine just a tad, and pushes back against her finger, hard. 

‘Pop goes the weasel!’ he groans in delight, and starts to rock himself back and forth on her slender finger. Well, that was not the response she had expected, but it is not an unpleasant one. 

‘Used to this, are we?’ she coos up at him.

‘Hmmm..yeah…go deeper…ahh… for the love of Mahal, deeper!’ 

‘I should be saying that you to Blondie’ she snipes, but in good humor not anger. Smiling at the flushed face, with his head thrown back, braids and long hair wild as a lion’s mane, the elf queen supposes she has never seen a dwarf look so beautiful. ‘And with whom do you enjoy this pleasure?’ 

‘Ahh..hmm, my uncle.’ He grinds out, trying in earnest now to get her damn finger to the HIS right spot. 

Elanen freezes and stares open mouthed at Fili, the crown prince of Erebor, if this pack of dwarves can ever actually manage to get to the Lonely Mountain to reclaim it, that is. She remembers Thorin Oakenshield. Knew him before he WAS Thorin Oakenshield, just Thorin, third in line behind Thror and his father Thrain for the throne and title King Under the Mountain, raven haired and just as damn beautiful as this young dwarf currently between her thighs with her finger up his ass. Hmmm, Thorin fucks this lad? His own sister’s son? Of course he does, she ruminates, the blonde is quite a treat and incest between royals has been practiced for ages. 

‘Is that a problem?’ he sighs as he misunderstands her expression. 

‘The only problem, my sweet, is that your uncle is not here with us now. I would so love to see him work your little hole properly.’

At her words and the thought of his uncle’s impressive sword deep inside his hole, Fili’s cock is rock hard to the point of hurting in an instant, but he cannot seem to get his tongue to cooperate to form actual words. You know, all that blood rushing to fill his cock left his brain rather depleted at the moment. 

‘Landir’ the elf queen calls out in a calm but loud voice. 

Landir, who or what the fuck is that, the blonde thinks. Oh it is Tall and Scowly, apparently, for it is he who responds immediately to the queen’s call by opening the chamber door. 

‘Yes, my lady?’ Tall & Scowly, Landir, asks nonchalantly, choosing to completely ignore the fact that his queen has just summoned him while she is spread out under that damn little fuckwad of a dwarf again. And is that her finger is his ass, Valar- damn it? I do NOT get paid enough for this shit, Landir thinks sourly, he but manages to keep his voice and expression neutral. 

‘Be a doll and go fetch the dwarf king, Thorin Oakenshield, please and thank you.’ Elanen asks mildly as if she is requesting a cup of tea. 

I really need to consider my employment options is the only thought that echos in a constant loop in Landir’s brain as he stomps back down to the fucking dungeons to get ANOTHER fucking dwarf for his queen.


	5. Thorin is added to the mix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elanen schools Fili in the finer points of certain skills and she gets a taste of Thorin

Thorin Oakenshield, would be King Under the Mountain, the hero of the Battle of Moria, fearless and tireless leader of the exiled dwarrow of Erebror, son of Thrain, grandson of the great Thror, sits in his elven cell and prays, yes, prays, he could find something, anything sharp to stab into his left eye. He muses to himself that he still has the key, secured in an unmentionable place, but safe nonetheless. Rather…let’s just say difficult to get to at the moment, so that particular object is out. 

How long can two beings talk and giggle about utter nonsense? Seriously? First, it was the runestone. That alone took up a two hours. Then the subject of starlight was discussed for an hour. An hour!! Now, the pair, the red-headed elf maiden and his youngest sister son, are pondering just how special they are and what a piece of luck it is that they have found each other and OMG, how much they think alike on everything, just everything and how great their life together will be, etc. Fucking please. 

Thorin has not gotten on his knees and begged his god for at least sixty years, but he sure as hell is now. Like a mantra, Thorin pleads with his Maker, rocking back and forth: Please Mahal, if you have ever heard a single prayer of mine, please grant me a sharp stick so that I may jab it into my eye to distract me from this juvenile torture, not that either Kili or Tauriel are under age in actual years, but shit, they sure are acting like a pair of pre-teens. Sorry Mahal, I’ll get back to the praying thing. Perhaps if you grant me something thin and sharp, I could stick into my ear so that I just can’t hear them anymore or maybe a stone so that I may hit the elf maiden upside the head with it. 

Just when Thorin begins to think that Mahal has really just an asshole and not really even a god, who should appear at his cell door, but the elven queen guard, wearing the deepest scowl on his elven face imaginable. Oh shit, praying works?! I will definitely have to do it more often then, Thorin thinks smugly to himself. 

‘Let’s go, dwarf,’ barks the elven guard. 

‘You will not order me around, elf.’ Thorin sneers right back at the elf’s order. Wait, wait, Mahal has just answered my prayer, I should not now just spit into his face now should I? Thorin thinks desperately and swiftly changes his tune, ‘Yes, let’s go...anywhere.’ He agrees hastily as he scrambles out of the open cell door and races to keep up with the long, stalking strides of the scowling elf. 

‘Where are you taking me?’ 

‘To the queen, Lady Elanen’s chamber.’ 

‘You give up her name rather carelessly. I should think a loyal guard would strive to keep his queen’s name from the lips of a dwarf.’

‘Ah, well, you see, when I left her, after she ordered me to go fetch you, HER lips are sufficiently coated with that blonde dwarf’s sperm and his finger in her slit so I really don’t give a flapping fuck.’ The tall elf tosses over his shoulder. Letting a prisoner walk behind you is an awful idea, suicidal really. The dwarf could have a shank or something and put Landir out of his misery. No such luck Landir thinks bitterly as the dark haired dwarf sprints past him to get to Elanen’s chamber.

When Landir and Thorin arrive outside the elf queen’s chamber door, they hear soft giggles and sighs emanating from inside. Oh shit, Thorin thinks, if this is another adolescent ‘love’ fest, I will hurl. Landir unlocks the door and unceremoniously and without preamble, throws it open. Thorin peeks hesitantly inside. Well, the tall elf had not lied, the queen DOES have sticky jizz smeared on her mouth and Fili DOES have his finger inside her. 

‘Come in, come in,’ Elanen calls when she catches sight of Thorin’s dark head as he peeps around the door frame. Thorin quickly straightens and saunters across the threshold. The door is slammed shut behind him, but he does not jump or start at the sound. He is the Mahal-damned King Under the Mahal-damned Mountain or will be soon enough. 

‘Hmmm…he is in need a bath.’ The elf queen muses aloud. 

‘He does love a good cleaning.’ Fili smirks, and they chuckle softly at their inside joke.

‘Good, that’s good. Let’s retire to the steam and bathing room where we can get to a proper and thoroughly cleaning.’ 

Thorin is confused. He enjoys bathing as much as the next dwarf which is to say not much, as Fili well KNOWS so what the fuck is the lad laughing about? 

Fili sees the expression on Thorin’s face and while he comes to embrace his uncle, he murmurs, ‘Let’s get you washed so we can give you a good cleaning here… with our tongues.’ Thorin lets his sister son squeeze his cock gently through his breeches. He smiles fondly at the blonde and practically races into the bathing chamber. 

After a thorough washing where his nephew helped him wash his dark locks and shamelessly washed his body and tugged his cock to rigid stiffness, Thorin reclines on his back on the side of the deep bathing pool where his buttocks sit on the very edge and his legs dangle off the side, his stiff cock sticking straight up. Fili and the elf queen, Elanen, are snuggled together in between Thorin’s thighs, administrating to that impressively thick and long cock. Currently, Elanen’s lips are wrapped Thorin’s cockhead and her tongue flicks the underside of the huge purple knob. Fili is gently sucking on his uncle’s equally impressive nuts. 

‘These are a bit swollen, rather in need of draining, I would say.’ The blonde teases as he lips, nibbles, and slides his tongue over the objects he is referring to. 

‘Ahh…uh…that would be…acceptable.’ Thorin manages finally to grind out over a several moments. Why is it so damn hard to think?

Turning to nuzzle into the elf queen’s hair, Fili whispers into her ear in a hushed, breathy voice. ‘Can you show how to do the trick you did to me. You know, take the whole thing down to the root and then swallow around it? I want you to see how beautiful he is when he comes undone.’ 

Elanen turns to press a gentle kiss to Fili’s mouth, her lips red and swollen from being stretched around Thorin’s cock. ‘Sure, do you know how to relax your throat? There really is no trick to it aside from being able to suppress your gag reflex and relax your throat sufficiently to let the cock slide down past your epiglottis.’

‘Not sure I have an epiglottis.’ Fili says hesitatingly, his blond brow furrowed. Epiglottis sounds like a term for some part of the female anatomy he thinks. 

Elanen just rolls her eyes and decides a demonstration would be a better teaching method in this situation. She rises up a little more out of the water and flicks her gaze to lock eyes with Thorin as he is propped up on his elbows to try to catch what the two imps are whispering about down there. Slowly, ever so slowly, she opens her mouth as widely as she can and starts to move her whole mouth down over Thorin’s aching erection. 

‘Ohhhhhhhh….ahhhhh.’

Apparently, the great Thorin Oakenshield is vocally challenged to formulate words much less complete sentences while being given head. His whole body convulses when she swallows, once twice, thrice. Pinching the base of his cock firmly, Elanen stops his impending release. 

‘Ahhh…ngh, again…please.’ Thorin huffs out, his blue eyes blown wide with both lust and wonder.

‘Your turn now. Take it slowly.’ Fili scoots up closer and also rises up to get the proper angle for Thorin’s rigid cock to be able to slide down his throat. 

‘Take a few deep breathes, very deep. Look up at him, relax, and start to take it all the way down but slowly.’ Elanen coaches. 

When Thorin’s knob hits the back of Fili’s throat, the young blonde chokes and pulls back off abruptly. 

‘It’s alright. Try again.’ The elf queen soothes him by moving behind the lad and pushes her breasts against his back, rubbing her hands up and over his chest. One hand moves up to caress the front of his neck and throat. ‘Relax, relax right here.’

Fili nods and repeats the process. This time the cockhead slides past the opening in the back of his mouth, and the whole cock disappears. His eyes are watering fiercely, but he manages to control the impulse to gag. 

‘Now, swallow. It will hurt your throat a little.’ Elanen continues with her lesson on the finer points of deep throating. Fili only manages to swallow once, but Thorin jerks bodily at the sensation.

‘Can I have his load? I would like to see how he tastes as compared to you.’

Fili pulls back and nods, smiling up at his uncle. He comes up completely out of the water to lie next to Thorin. ‘He tastes great.’ He smiles as he speaks to Elanen, but he is looking at his uncle. ‘It is so thick and tastes a little bitter, but it’s still great when it goes into my belly.’

Thorin’s mouth gapes open, breathing as if he was running from those damn orc riding wargs again. Fili kisses his uncle slowly while he feels Thorin stiffen as the elf queen deep throats his cock once more. Both uncle and nephew turn their eyes to watch as Elanen turns her body to the side so that they may watch as Thorin’s long, thick cock presses down and into her slender throat. 

Thorin comes with a bellow after the second swallow squeezes his knob. Elanen lets one, two, three spurts travel straight into her belly before she withdraws to suckle at the bulbous cockhead. Two more spurts splash onto her tongue so she may get a taste of his seed. Much more bitter with iron-like undertones than the young blonde’s and indeed thicker. 

The dwarf king can only flop on his back as he shakes and shudders through the aftershocks of his orgasm. When this day began, he would have NEVER thought it would end like this. Mahal is good. Bloody good. 

‘It’s good, isn’t it?’ Fili purrs

‘Yes and so very much.’ Elanen hums. 

‘Well, Mister Dwalin shoots bigger loads, but his release is not as thick. It tastes metallic.’ Fili offers in an educational-like voice. 

A strong hand clamps down on the back of Fili’s head in an iron grip. ‘And why in Mahal’s name do YOU know about the texture and taste of Dwalin’s seed, may I ask?’ Thorin growls, his face a mask of outrage.

Fili blanches. Well shit, he thinks, he just had to be a know-it-all and let THAT secret slip, didn’t he?


	6. Elanen is patient.  She can wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili confesses the extent of his relationship with Dwalin. Thorin prepares Fili. Elanen waits patiently.

‘Um…ehmm…’ Fili struggles to find any words that he can say that will morph his previous statement about Mister Dwalin’s , uh, release, in ANY other light than what it exactly is which is he has been sucking his uncle’s best friend’s cock for several years now. Well shit, Fili thinks as Thorin pulls his blonde head around so that his face is very close to his uncle’s very red and very angry face. 

‘I suck his cock.’ He blurts out, bluntly. ‘And he sucks mine.’ 

Thorin’s expression changes so swiftly from stark, lowered and furrowed eyebrows, anger to shocked surprise, seriously, his mouth forms the shape of a perfect ‘o’ in surprise and those same said eyebrows almost disappear into his hair line. Fili would have laughed, but he knows how much Thorin likes to share which is to say not at all. Thorin’s mouth clamps shut and his eyes shift to the side momentarily, before they cut back to meet Fili’s.

‘So, Dwalin…sucks cock?’ he asks in a most confused voice. ‘Can’t say I would have ever seen that coming, frankly.’ The dwarf king muses, lips pursed. Then Fili can see another dark thought cross Thorin’s mind as his dark brows come back down and his eyes blaze again. 

‘No, he has NOT fucked me. Has never even tried. He knows that there is only one cock that I want inside me and that is yours, Thorin. You’re just so often busy or gone, and I get so…pent up. He…he helps me.’ The young blonde finishes in a whisper. Well, the dwarf king has dealt with his share of shameless, bald faced liars in his lifetime, but he knows youthful earnestness when he hears it. 

‘Only my stiff cock in your ass, yeah?’ Thorin teases. 

‘Yesssshhh’ Fili whimpers, locking eyes with his lover. ‘Only you in my tight little hole. See how bad it wants you now.’ The blonde maneuvers his round pert butt around so that he is kneeling next to his uncle, and Thorin can see the dusky pink rim that Fili is referring to. Lowering his head and chest onto his hands in submission, the young dwarf widens his knees so Thorin may have unfettered access to his hole IF the dwarf king wants it. And oh, does he want it. 

In the blink of an eye,Thorin is up pressing himself tightly against the smaller dwarf. Elanen is quite surprised at the speed and grace with which the dwarf king moves. Still in the bathing pool, having watched the entire exchange between the two dwarves in fascination, she finds herself becoming unbearably turned on by the sight of the strong, heavily muscled, dark haired king flush against his much more lightly built, blonde heir. Beautiful, they are just beautiful together. Gold locks mingling with dark. 

Fili’s erection slaps against his flat stomach muscles as his uncle grinds himself against the backside the blonde presented to him. Well, the elf queen thinks as she slips up and out of the water, if I can just slide myself under Fili, my pussy will line up with his cock perfectly, and finally, finally I can get MY hole filled up and fucked again. Accomplishing this complicated maneuver takes all the grace she possesses, but she does manage it. Fili moans as he feels her wet, naked body slip underneath his compact one. Oh Mahal’s flaming tits, yes!! 

Thorin is slightly irritated at the queen for interjecting herself into the... situation, but shit, he is so eager to plunge his erection into Fili, he forgives her and actually admires her boldness. With his cock not back to rigid stiffness yet, Thorin busies himself with preparing Fili’s hole which is rather tight after all. It takes plenty of oil and gentle fingering to open Fili's pink rim. 

When Elanen sees Thorin looking about wildly for something, she presumes correctly that he is searching for oil or any type of slick. ‘Bath oil is in that jar, there.’ She murmurs, pointing. Thorin smiles gratefully at her, grabbing the indicated jar and yanking the cork out. Yes, she is alright he thinks, for an elf. 

Fili wraps his arms up and under Elanen’s upper body and lowers his head to the crook of her neck as he feels his uncle’s thick fingers begin the slow process of prepping his hole for penetration. She is humps her hips up against his in order to get his Valar-damned erection INSIDE her but to no avail. Huffing in resignation, she accepts that she will just have to wait for her aching need to be attended to. She is an elf. She can be patient. She can wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin will be added to the mix next.


	7. Elanen gets impatient and calls for Dwalin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title kind of says it all. The elf queen loses patience waiting for Thorin & Fili to get to it and she asks Landir to go get Dwalin. Dwalin is unsure what he sees when he first enters the queen's chamber, but he warms to the idea.

Ok, seriously- how long does it take for one dwarf king to prepare his crown prince’s sheath to take his sword? They have been at this for a half hour, for fuck’s sake! And to add to her angst, for the entire time, the blonde dwarf’s own sword has been pulsing and bouncing, unused, just mere inches from HER sheath, her very wet and needy sheath; however, her arms have been restricted by his arms wrapped tightly around her so that she cannot reach his stiff cock. Also he has been huffing and moaning into her neck and ear, thank you very much. An elf maid can only take so much!

‘Landir,’ she calls to her most loyal guard. 

Thorin tears his eyes away from his nephew’s backside for an instant to give the elf queen an inquisitive look. Who or what the fuck is a Landir, he thinks. Fuck if I care, really is his next thought as he strokes his now rigid erection with one hand as his other hand is busy with the process teasing Fili’s prostate mercilessly. 

Landir is loath to open to his queen’s chamber door, but one must do one’s duty, no matter how unpleasant. Well, that is a surprise, as the tall elf does not see his queen and fear grips Landir’s heart. Did those little fucks do something to his queen?! 

‘Landir,’ floats out of the private bath. 

Seriously? Landir thinks sourly. He enters the bath reluctantly and for good reason. Oh nice, the sight of two naked, wet, slicked up dwarves, one on top of the other, and both, BOTH mind you, are on top of his queen. 

‘Yes, my lady?’ Landir asks in as normal a voice as he can manage. 

‘Could you go back to the dungeon and collect a dwarf named Dwalin? Please and thank you.’ 

He has been casually dismissed to fetch yet another dwarf? Landir muses that mayhap the queen has gone insane, but fuck it, he will do as he is told.

 

Dwalin had flung himself against the cell door for a good hour before his brother had told him firmly to stop it, that is was useless to try to escape from this elven hellhole. The large warrior had been very concerned when an elf guard had come to take first Fili, the crown prince, and then Thorin, the king, to parts unknown. And what do you know, that same said guard is back, calling out to the dwarves in their cells to direct him to the one named Dwalin? What the fuck would Thranduil want with him? That Mahal-damned elf king would not get shit out of him, that much for was for sure! Well, maybe actually shit or spit, maybe, but no pertinent information about their quest. 

Dwalin shouts out to indicate that he is the dwarf the guard is looking for. Landir, comes to his cell door and smirks at the sight of Dwalin. He thinks the queen might have bitten off more than she can chew this time, the elf thinks snidely. 

Dwalin had steeled himself for the many and various possibilities that could be awaiting him, but NOTHING like the sight that he stumbles into as he was pushed through the door connecting the queen’s bed chamber into the royal bath, had EVER crossed the warrior’s mind. Gawking at the scene for several heartbeats, Dwalin looks back to the tall elf with the smirk on his face to see if he is just imaging the sight before him due to some elven magic or trickery. Nope, the elf’s mouth just twists from a smirk into a mighty scowl, and he flees with a flap of his robes, leaving Dwalin to stand there awkwardly. 

He recognizes the sounds Fili is making. The youth is aroused beyond measure, and he sees his king slicking up his erection. What the hell am I doing here the warrior wonders? 

‘Dwalin?’ Elanen asks softly. Dwalin starts out of his stupor as he does not know to whom that voice belongs nor from where it is coming. When he finally sees Elanen’s face peeping out from beneath Fili, he wonders, why is a elf lying UNDER the blonde? Well shit, this is getting damn interesting, the large dwarf muses. Just go with it, he concludes and answers the elf, ‘Dwalin, son of Fundin, at your service.’ He gives the smallest of bows. 

‘Dwalin?’ Thorin barks over his shoulder, but the dwarf king does not turn around as he is too occupied with pressing his large erection into his blonde heir. Dwalin can see Thorin’s gluteal muscles flex fiercely as he tries to work his cock deeper into Fili’s tight heat. 

‘Ahhhh’ Fili moans piteously at the burn. 

‘Hush, lad, I’ll make it better.’ His uncle soothes the blonde. ‘Here, bury your cock into the elf queen’s pussy.’ With that statement, Thorin reaches around Fili to grasp the blonde’s cock and angles it down so that the head is nudging against her folds. ‘That’s better, hmmmm?’

‘Ahhhh…oh yes, yes, I need that cock in my pussy, NOW!’ Elanen’s voice rises to a howl, drowning out Fili groans of pleasure at the sensation of his erection slipping itself into Elanen to the hilt. 

‘Ehm..Dwalin…ngh… ‘ Thorin grunts deelply, trying to get a thought out of his mouth. ‘I believe the elf queen, the Lady Elanen here, may enjoy…what you have to offer, my friend.’

Dwalin eases over to look at said elf queen. She seems pretty damned otherwise engaged currently, but what the hell? 

‘Jump in the bath, do a quick wash.’ She sighs. ‘Then I want to suck you off.’ When Dwalin does not budge, she adds, ‘If you would like to spill your load in my mouth, I would be happy to take it. Won’t I? Fili? Thorin?’

Both dwarves nod vigorously. Well, Dwalin thinks, why not and he starts to strip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok-people. Am I wrting this just for myself? Well, yes, actually, but I'd love to hear what you think. Even if you hate something, let me know.


	8. Three dwarves and an elf queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut, more smut, foursome smut.

The elf queen was having a hard time keeping her eyes open from the waves of pleasure pooling in her pelvis, like a rising tide is being pushed further and further up the beach, her pleasure building slowly by the blonde dwarf’s rigid erection’s push and pull within her channel. Was having difficulty that is until the very large, bald dwarf had stripped down to all his naked glory, and her eyes blow open wide. 

HOLY AULE and his fucking brother, but that dwarf is all tattoos, bulging muscles with a cock possessing the length and breadth that Elanen has NEVER seen. Seriously, it looks similar to a third leg, as if the dwarf had been born three legged, but this limb had been injured so that the appendage has an atrophied and flaccid look to it when compared to the dwarf’s actual robust and muscular thighs, but still, his cock is HUGE. There simply is no other word for it. Hmm...Elanen muses, this may be quite a challenge to get that thing in her mouth, much less down her throat, but she is up for an honest stab at it. 

Dwalin smirks at the elf’s reaction to his penis. No, the open mouthed, wide eyed gaping at his endowment NEVER gets old, not even when it’s from an elf. 

‘May I…ah… introduce….oh Mahal…..the…ahhhhh.’ Thorin valiantly tries to make proper introductions between the elf queen and his shield brother and friend, but the pleasure from being buried in Fili’s molten heat keeps distracting him from completing the task as the bratty blonde clenches himself around Thorin’s thrusting cock at each word. Finally, Fili’s fluttering hole is too much, and Thorin can only throw his head back and let the pleasure wash over him. All thought of introductions or anything else simply wiped clear of his brain. 

‘The Queen of the Elven Woodland Realm, the Lady Elanen… may I present Dwalin, son of Fundin, Weapons Master of Thorin, King Under the Mountain.’ Fili purrs rather smugly. The brat, Dwalin thinks, I’ll shove my cock in that smart ass mouth. Wait, the large warrior starts, uh…Thorin might just cut off my awesome cock for that. And did the brat just say queen of the Woodland Realm? The elf underneath Fili with his cock deep within her slit, is Thranduil’s wife? Holy Mahal’s flaming balls?! Does Thorin want to get ALL of our cocks cut off? 

Well, fuck, Dwalin muses, you’ve got to die one day, might as well be the day you get head from that fuckwit’s, Thranduil’s wife. While I’m at it, I should let Fili suck me right in front of Thorin, too. Let’s just damn all the torpedoes today, shall we? 

Dwalin washes his hair and beard, letting the elf queen, Elanen, enjoy the sight of the lather sliding down his impressively large chest and flat belly to rest in his thatch of pubic hair. He watches her eyes as they follow the slippery white trails as they slip down and around his swelling cock. The large warrior smiles at her wanton staring. Taking the soap in one huge paw, he cleans his twig and berries. Well, tree branch and apples would be a more apt comparison to his endowments. 

‘Oh, I can finish that for you.’ The elf queen coos as she watches the dwarf wash his cock and balls. 

‘Will you,now?’ 

Elanen nods, smiling and a deep moan escapes her lips as Thorin gives a particularly hard thrust into Fili; thereby, in essence, fucking the blonde and his cock hard and very deeply into the elf queen. Dwalin steps up onto the lounging shelf that rings the bathing pool so that his knees frame Elanen’s head and he can press his swollen cockhead to her parted lips. Her tongue flicks out to swirl around that purple knob, and she presses small kisses to the underside of his shaft.

‘Ahh…fuck that is so hot.’ Fili moans. 

‘You want some, little prince?’ Dwalin smiles down at the blonde. The warrior is thinking the same thing as he watches his king’s cock thrust into the heir’s tight and hole, his rim impossibly stretched to accommodate Thorin’s girth. Thorin growls a low warning to his shield brother, but Fili nods. ‘Please let me suck you, too.’

‘Do NOT beg!’ Thorin barks, grabbing Fili’s hips in an iron grip and savagely stabs his cock into the young dwarf. Fili gasps in pain. Thorin then yanks his heir’s head up by his hair. ‘He should beg you to let him suck your cock.’ He commands in a breathy whisper. Fili’s eyes roll in his head like a spooked horse’s as he cannot nod in agreement, nor can he speak as his trachea is constricted by the way his neck is bent back to its limit. 

‘Later, Thorin. His cock is otherwise occupied at the moment. No reason to hurt the lad.’ 

Thorin and Dwalin lock eyes for several heartbeats, neither backing down. Dwalin cocks his head to the side. ‘Do we really want to stop what we’re doing to fight this out, my king?’

Thorin shakes his head,ruefully, starting to smile. ‘No, my friend, let us to enjoy the moment.’ He relaxes his hold on Fili’s head so that the lad can bow his head to rest on Elanen’s chest. 

‘Aye’ Dwalin agrees and feeds his cock deeper into Elanen’s mouth, and he shuffles a little closer. The elf queen suckles at his cockhead as a newborn at the breast. Fili turns his head and leans himself a tiny bit closer so that he can lick the thick veins on the side of Dwalin’s shaft. The warrior’s head falls back as he enjoys the sensation of two mouths working on his prick. 

Elanen turns her head so that Dwalin’s knob slips out of her mouth, and she uses her hands to tug on Dwalin’s thighs to encourage him to move up further until his swinging testicles loom over her head. Taking his cue from the elf queen, the large dwarf slides his salvia coated cock into Fili’s mouth, where the blonde sucks on the pulsing head. The heir can tell from experience that Dwalin is getting close. Once that purple knob starts to pulse and throb, the tattooed warrior would shoot his load shortly. 

Dwalin grunts loudly when he feels Elanen gently mouth his balls and then groans deeply as she flicks her tongue wildly on the underside of his nuts. He was going to spill. No stopping it now. 

‘Nhgn…gonna cum!’ Dwalin warns breathlessly. Fili pulls off the large knob and bends his neck so his mouth and lips slide along one side of Dwalin’s cockhead. Elanen pushes against Dwalin thighs so he rocks backwards just enough for her to crane her neck so that her mouth works on the contralateral side of Dwalin’s knob. Shuddering violently and uncontrollably thrusting his cock between the two licking tongues and the two sets of wet lips, Dwalin’s deep rumbling grunts echo in the bathing chamers as line after line of his semen splashes onto Elanen’s breasts and belly. His release even flies down to reach Elanen’s pussy and Fili’s cock as the two pelvis bump together. Nine, count them nine spurts of jizz coat the elf queen and the young dwarven heir. 

The elf queen has never felt so utterly filthy and never so damned turned on as she is at this moment. Dwalin’s grunts and the feeling his hot jizz all over her body coupled with Fili’s cock grinding down, scraping against her clit sends her spiraling over the edge into her own climax. Little whimpering moans escape her throat as she cums. 

The hard contractions of her pussy walls as they clamp down on his cock, pushes the blonde dwarf closer to his own release. When Fili feels Thorin’s large hands push his smaller body down to press tightly against Elanen’s soft body, squishing Dwalin’s jizz between the two of them, he comes undone. Groaning wildly and hips bucking of their own accord, Fili once again his shoots his seed deep into the elf queen’s womb.

The last domino to fall in the chain reaction climax is the dwarf king. Fili’s fluttering hole clenching around his driving cock and the sight of Dwalin positively hosing the elf queen and his heir down with spend is too much. With his darkly furred balls slapping against Fili’s blonde peach fuzz covered nuts, he cannot hold back his release. Deep, gutteral grunts reverberate throughout the bathing chamber as Thorin’s thick seed floods into Fili’s twitching hole. And then the only sound is the labored breathing of three dwarves and an elven queen as they each float on a cloud of post orgasmic bliss and they each occasionally shudder with the pleasant aftershocks thrumming through their bodies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, after writing this I was very tempted to break out the benadryl for the kids to go straight to bed so that hubby and I could, therefore, go straight to bed. But I thought better of it. Unnecessarily medicating one's children is frowned upon. Sigh.


	9. Seeping Beauty and the three dwarves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The post coital untangling of three dwarves and an elf queen and unexpected, unpleasant news.

As the royal bathing chamber quiets to a hushed silence, the three dwarves and an elf slowly and reverently disentangle themselves from one another. This is more challenging for Fili and Elanen as they are almost glued together with Dwalin’s ample release of semen between them, coupled with the fact that Thorin had collapsed across his nephew’s back, effectively compressing Fili tightly down onto Elanen’s body. Dwalin, the only one of the quartet who is on his feet, albeit leaning heavily on his massive arms, is the first to somewhat recover his senses. 

The large warrior looks down to the three bodies stacked one on top of the other, and he wonders with a vague disinterest if the elf queen can actually breathe. She looks pretty much dead but for the fetching flush of pink across her cheeks and down her chest. Fili looks just as beautiful with his usual post orgasmic blush to his handsome face as well. The lad’s head is turned to rest in the crook of the elf queen’s neck, and Dwalin can tell Fili IS breathing in little huffs as Elanen’s hair flutters with each of his exhales. 

Then there is the dwarf king draped across his heir’s backside, his equally handsome face is tilted to the side between Fili’s shoulder blades so Dwalin can see that his blue eyes are closed and a gentle smile play along on his lips. Thorin looks completely sated and at peace in a way that his shield brother has not seen in many a year. Dwalin thinks the three make a most beautiful picture of dwarven and elven royal debauchery. 

Shaking his bald head to clear the post coital cobwebs from his brain, Dwalin rolls his powerful shoulders and neck, drawing in several, deep, extremely contented inhales through his nose. He grins down at the sticky stack of dwarves and elf, and he exhales in a laugh as the sight reminds him of a stack of pancakes. Then he thinks, Mahal’s tits, but is he hungry. 

‘Is there any food to be had around here?’ he asks casually, glancing about the bath. Not likely for food to be in here. 

‘Hmmm?’ is the only reply the elf queen can manage at the moment, her eyes still closed. Well, one has to be able to breathe to speak, Dwalin muses, and he smacks Thorin with one of his huge hands between the shoulder blades to rouse his dosing king. 

‘What the fuck, Dwalin?’ Thorin growls without opening his eyes either, swatting vaguely in the warrior’s direction in irritation. 

‘Do you wouldn’t want to suffocate the elf queen, would you?’ smirks Dwalin. 

‘Wha…well no, of course not.’ Thorin answers huffily and raises his head from Fili’s back to peer around his heir to get a look at Elanen’s face. 

‘Ehm…she’s not dead, is she?’ the dwarven king asks nervously pushing up from his blonde’s backside, absentmindedly gives his consort’s ass a gentle and loving caress as he does so. 

‘Fili, get up, lad. We must see to our…hostess.’ He struggles to find the correct term to define Elanen. 

‘Huh?’ Fili mumbles when he feels the weight and warmth of his lover’s body leave his backside. He cracks his eye open to gaze up at his uncle for a moment before he lifts his head from Elanen’s neck to move his hands gently under her head to cradle it.

‘Hey, wake up.’ He murmurs softly, rubbing small circles with his thumbs against the boney prominences of her occiput.

‘Hmmmm…’ she moans in a small protest from being roused from her post coital bliss, but she opens her eyes and blinks up slowly, cat like, at Fili. A small smile curves her lips. 

‘Ahh, that was absolutely…. amazing, Blondie, Baldy, and Grumpy.’ She purrs, glancing from dwarven face to dwarven face, stretching her body underneath Fili’s, letting Dwalin’s slippery seed slide their bodies against one another. 

‘Keep that up, Snow White, and you just may get another round.’ Fili grouses good humoredly. 

‘Aye’ Dwalin breathes with lust making his voice huskier than normal as he eyes his own release ooze out, around, and between the elf queen’s soft breast and belly and Fili’s firm torso. His cock twitches with renewed interest. 

‘Who is she referring to as Grumpy?’ Thorin asks in a mildly outraged voice. He has NOT been grumpy at all in her presence, thank you very much, but he cannot rouse himself to his normal broody and taciturn state at the moment. Looking down at his consort’s twitching and still, slightly gaping, red hole with his king’s spend seeping out and running in a thick trail down the blonde’s crack, Thorin’s own cock throbs appreciatively. 

‘Really, do I look like Snow White, dwarf?’ she snaps. If you are going to play the game at least play it right! 

Fili grins down at Elanen at her reaction to being called Snow White. ‘Hmmm… well you are blonde after all, so is Cinderella better? No, I know, Sleeping Beauty!’ he exclaims. 

‘Seeping Beauty, more like it.’ quips Dwalin as he watches Fili’s spend pours, actually pours out of her redden and swollen pussy when the blonde hoists himself up and off her body. 

‘Hmph’ she snorts. 

‘Not really one for the verbal eloquence, is she? How unelven.’ Thorin chuckles. Dwalin’s and Fili’s head snap around, Thorin is….JOKING? Fili has never heard Thorin chuckle EVER, and it has been many, many decades since Dwalin has heard Thorin joke. 

A loud, rapid cadence of knocking sounds distantly on the bedchamber door. The three dwarves and the elf turn in unison to the unexpected rapping. 

‘My lady!’ Landir’s voice can be heard floating across Elanen’s bed chamber and into the bath. 

‘Yes, Landir?’ Elanen calls. 

‘My lady!’ Landir has let himself into the bed chamber, and he pops his head into the bath. ‘Ugh.’ he rears back and withdraws his head back from the door frame like a turtle retreating into his shell. His queen looks like a cum-glazed doughnut, for fuck’s sake. This had to be the worst day EVER. 

In as calm a voice as he can manage, Landir grinds out, ‘My lady, Lord Thranduil is making his way here. Now. At this moment. He should be here in a minute or two.’

‘Oh shit’ All four occupants of the bathing chamber mutter together.


	10. a new skin treatment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin, Fili, and Dwalin leave the bath just as Thranduil enters it.

‘Well nothing left for it then.’ Rumbles Dwalin as he scans the bathing pool area for his scattered and discarded clothing. The tall dwarf begins to clamber out of the pool, giving the young blonde dwarf sitting cross-legged next to the still lounging elven queen, a gentle kiss on his swollen mouth.

Ah, that mouth, the bald warrior thinks fondly, that lovely mouth, but there are bigger fish to fry at the moment, rather a tall, platinum blonde elf with ridiculous dark brown, almost black eyebrows to worry about. Huffing from the thought of Thranduil and his stupid eyebrows, Dwalin hoists himself nimbly, well as nimbly as such a heavily muscled and soaking wet dwarf as himself could, up and out of the warm bath. 

Elanen watches as his cock which even when flaccid is still of impressive size, swings along with his heavy stones when he jumps out of the pool. Really, she ruminates to herself, dwarves? How could she have NOT known for all these years what pleasure was to be had when coupling with a dwarf or several? Hmmm, she is damn sure to remedy that oversight in the future. She may have missed out on this pleasure for over a thousand years, but she still had next thousand after all. 

Thorin had scowled darkly at his shield brother when he had dared to kiss HIS consort, HIS heir when he had gotten out of the bath, but what the fuck? Maybe including Dwalin in his and Fili’s romps would be a good addition. Thorin had quite enjoyed squishing Fili down onto the sloppy mess of Dwalin’s spend. Very, very, much indeed! 

‘Shit, focus.’ Thorin mutters to himself. The dwarf king is still a tad groggy from the two mind numbing climaxes he had experienced in the last hour, and he shakes his head vigorously in an attempt to shake out the image in his brain of his cock sliding into his blonde consort’s pink furl while his own hole is pounded by Dwalin’s massive sword. 

He glances up at his undoubtedly best warrior and finds Dwalin smirking back at him. Hmmmm, maybe Dwalin can read minds like his brother, Balin. The old advisor has proven time and time again that he certainly seems capable of telling exactly what thoughts are going through Thorin’s mind. Oh, the idea of a threesome with large warrior, his blonde heir, and himself is quite lovely. He fervently hopes Dwalin thinks the same. 

For fuck’s sake, would you three HURRY?! Landir finally bellows. He has had it. HAD IT, thank you very much. These three loutheads are fumbling around like there is NOT a tall, regal elf king stomping his way to this very place right now. 

Landir cannot even bear to glance at his queen, but then he peeks. Yep, there she is, still reclining, literally dripping with dwarf sperm from MULTIPLE locations like she does NOT have a care in the world. Seriously?! He snortly loudly in her general direction but cannot bring himself to actually say the words to her, would you please get the fuck up and wash that shit off of yourself?

Elanen is amused at Landir’s passive aggressive tactics. Thranduil can go fuck himself for all she cares what he may think. Her husband has been chasing a certain red-headed captain of the guard among countless others, for centuries. It is her turn to enjoy rubbing it in his face the fact that she has been bedded by another. 

However, there are the dwarves to think about she reminds herself. While Thranduil would be very foolish to harm her, and she is rather confident that her husband would not risk his own neck just for the pleasure he would gain from inflicting physical pain on her, that would not prevent him from taking out his vengeance on them. 

‘Landir, please escort my guests back to their….rooms.’ The elf queen instructs her guard quietly from her supine position. 

‘Gladly, my lady!’ Landir begins to herd the three dwarves together so that he can rush them out of the bathing chamber. 

‘It was my very great pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lady.’ Thorin says formally, bowing stiffly as he brushes off Landir’s hands. Fili grins broadly and bends lows at the waist. ‘As was my most wonderful and repeated pleasure, my lady. And hopefully yours as well?’ The lad quips. Elanen smiles warmly back at the blonde with the beaming face radiant like the sun shining.

‘My lady.’ Is all Dwalin rumbles in his deep voice, also bowing deeply. And with that, the three dwarves turn to each other, all stark naked, clothings draped across arms. They exchange tender kisses and shy glances amongst each other before Landir can finally herd them out of the bathing chamber. 

They love each other dearly, with all their hearts, the elf queen thinks a bit sadly. Not that she begrudges their obvious happiness in each other and their love for one another, but she wishes she had someone to love like that and be loved in return. 

She sighs heavily as she hears her king and husband, Thranduil, burst through his own bed chambers door and makes his way toward their shared bathing chamber. Landir has just gotten the naked dwarves out of her bed chamber door and has shut it silently when Thranduil strides a wee bit unsteadily into the bath. 

He pulls himself up quickly when he takes in her reclining form. ‘Uh…is that some sort of skin treatment?’ he asks. 

‘Why, yes, darling. It is. A wonderful, new skin and body treatment.’ She purrs, laughing inwardly at his confused expression. The smell alone should clue him into what it actually is, but what the hell, if he wants to play dumb so can she. She finds that she would feel no joy in humiliating him or making him feel badly. They were once very close, long ago. 

‘Oh’ is his only response. He discards his own robes and slips into the bath.

‘Care to join me?’ he asks hesitantly. Surprised at his request, she slides over to the pool side and slides down into the warm water next to him. 

‘You know that skin treatment sure smells like cum.’ The elf king murmurs a tad drunkenly into her hair as he wraps his arms around her. 

‘Verily?’ she whispers, sleepy now herself and lets herself settle against her husband’s firm chest


	11. Mister Baggins and a massive ring of keys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Landir returns Thorin, FIli, and Dwalin to their cells. Tauriel runs away. And Mister Baggins appears, key ring in hand.

Balin almost falls off his bunk when he sees the tall, scowling elf guard push and prod his king, the crown prince, and his own brother, all completely NAKED, back into the cell block. The white haired dwarf’s mouth hangs open for a beat before he clamps it shut as he wonders what the fuck the trio could have possibly been up to. Oh for the love of Mahal, let them NOT have been with Thranduil. Well, perhaps that would be a good thing. Maybe if the elf king fucked them senseless then maybe he would let them go? Balin dares to feel hope rise in his chest.

‘Bet Thranduil never gave it to the elf queen so good, yeah?’ Dwalin chortles to the guard as he passes by. Well, fuck, and double fuck, Balin thinks sourly as the hope in his heart comes crashing down. There will be no waltzing out of the woodland realm tonight. 

Thorin is the first to be thrown back into his cell, but he does not seem to mind in the least. Ballin wonders if the dwarf king has been drugged as he hears Thorin chuckle at Dwalin’s comment. Thorin NEVER chuckles. 

When Landir escorts Fili and Dwalin past Balin’s cell and down the corridor, the elf guard and the remaining two dwarves come face to face with the red headed captain of the guard. Tauriel blinks rapidly, taking in Fili and Dwalin’s nakedness and their impressive, swinging dwarfhoods. Kili, who had been chirping along merrily about Mahal knows what, cranes his neck to see what has captured his love’s attention. 

‘Umm…why are you naked? Did Thranduil take your clothes?’ Kili asks bewildered. 

‘Nope, the elf queen entertained us.’ Fili answers his brother primly. 

‘Aye, she sure did, lad. She surely did.’ Dwalin laughingly agrees with the blonde and clapping him on the shoulder. 

‘She entertained you naked?’ Kili is even more confused now. Tauriel stiffens at the mention of Thranduil’s wife, the elf queen. Tauriel does not like to think of her would-be lover’s wife, her other would-be lover’s mother, Elanen. 

‘Was Thranduil there?’ the red haired elf can ask before she can stop herself. 

Landir who was past his last nerve an hour ago, just stares at her balefully. ‘What do you think, you twit.’ 

‘Twit?!’ Tauriel barks outraged. 

‘Yes’ Landir answers coldly. ‘You chat up a prisoner for hours, but when you think of the possibility of Thranduil being with his QUEEN, you just can’t help yourself from wanting to make sure he is not in there fucking his WIFE and QUEEN right along with these Valar-damned dwarves? Yes, you are a twit.’

Fili and Dwalin smirk at the captain of the guards’ stunned expression. 

‘Why would you care if Thranduil is fucking his queen?’ Kili asks in a hurt voice. 

Tauriel turns on her heel and rushes from the cell block. She does not answer Kili’s sorrowful calls after her. Dwalin rolls his eyes at Kili’s pouting expression. 

‘Wait’ Kili says slowly, ‘Did that elf just say that you were fucking the Woodland realm’s elven queen? Mahal’s flaming tits, are you mad!! Why not just serve up your cock and balls on a platter for Thranduil ‘s breakfast while you are at it?’ The young dwarven archer’s voice rises in pitch and volume.

‘Excellent question.’ Landir mutters, stony-faced. 

Kili looks expectantly from his brother to his weapons master, but neither answer his question. Landir opens each dwarf’s cell, and they both stroll casually inside. Landir slams each cell door a little harder than absolutely necessary making Kili jump at the loud, twin clangs. Fili and Dwalin just laugh. The draining of one’s balls always seems to have that effect on these gruff dwarves, giving them an uncharacteristic, flippant and carefree attitude.

As soon as Landir stalks from the cell block, who should literally materialize as if out of seemingly thin air, but the Halfling, Mister Baggins.

‘We need to hurry,’ the small, fussy hobbit huffs urgently, holding up an immense key ring and jangling the keys slightly.


	12. Leaving Mirkwood in the Broad Starlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dwarves leave the Woodland Elves stronghold with the help of a very daring and smart hobbit. Tauriel is confronted with some very stark and cold truths.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I went to see Desolation of Smaug with my two kids, my youngest who was in kindergarten at the time, asked me when the dwarves crawled into the barrels, 'But Mommy, won't the barrel just sink?' The older one, who was in the third grade, answers before I have a chance and says, 'of course they would. Any idiot knows that.' Out of the mouths of babes, folks. My young kids know that unsealed barrels will get swamped with water and sink. Period. 
> 
> I know that the scene with the dwarves fighting going down the river in OPEN barrels makes for a better scene in the visual sense, but the viewer has to put all commonsense on the backburner to swallow it. Just my griping and sniping at some of the choices of PJ in his bringing the Hobbit to the big screen. If you don't like my opinion, please do not read any further.

The dwarves follow Bilbo down, down further into the Woodland Elves stronghold, tiptoeing past elven guards fast asleep from too much drink. They slip silently into the enormous underground cavern that serves as the docking area for river barges loaded with goods from far flung lands, storage for those goods of all kinds, and as the Woodland Realm’s wine cellar. 

The massive underground cave has a dock with access to a swift moving river that flows through Mirkwood. The river flows into Mirkwood, into the Woodland fortress, and back out again. The keen-eared, industrious hobbit had learned from listening in on the elven guards’ conversation that as the barrels are emptied, they are queued up to be floated back down the river to Laketown. Bilbo found dozens of barrels all nicely in a row right next to the dock and just the perfect size for a dwarf or hobbit to hide away in. Wonderful. 

During the Festivial of Starlight A LOT, a WHOLE lot of wine barrels have been emptied along with barrels that have contained other food stuffs. All these barrels are lined up in preparation. Bilbo gestures to the barrels grandly, puffing out his slight chest. The dwarves are less than impressed with the whole idea. 

Dwalin and Thorin exchange a look before turning on the poor hobbit. It is not enough that dwarf king had given the fussy hobbit quite a shock when he found that particular dwarf completely naked, lounging in his cell with a rather smug grin on his face. Well, honestly it could have been the grin on Thorin’s face that had given Bilbo the shock but being naked certainly had not helped matters, and now Dwalin and Thorin hiss that Bilbo is mad if he thinks that they will willing encase themselves in barrels to be floated down river!

The hobbit pulls himself up to this full height and stares down the two burly dwarves.

‘If you would like to go back to lounging naked in Thranduil’s cells, be my guest, but I am getting out of here.’ 

Bilbo had NO idea why three members of the company had to hastily pull on their clothes, apparently clothes they had had CARRIED back to their cells for some unknown reason. The hobbit was aghast at the sight of their large cocks swinging for all and Aule to see, thank you very much, as they hopped on one leg trying to get into their breeches while making their way out of the cell block. Under other circumstances, the sight would have been comical, but at the time, Bilbo had been trying to get thirteen dwarves out of their prison and down to the loading dock unseen and unheard by their imprisoners. No small feat that!

The dwarves grumble amongst themselves for a few moments, before Thorin huffs, eyeballing the hobbit, who apparently had grown a backbone in the last 24 hours and calmly orders, ‘Get in, everyone. Now!’

‘What?’ Balin and Dori gasp in unison.

‘What did he say?’ Oin asks his brother Gloin. 

‘I’d REALLY like a chance to speak to Taureil before we go…’ Kili whines, looking at his uncle with beseeching eyes. Thorin congratulates himself on his self-discipline when he does NOT backhand his youngest nephew for the sheer stupidity of that statement, but the dwarf king does give the dark haired youth such a look as to cut his use of the puppy-eyes short. 

Dwalin huffs in resignation, shrugs his massive shoulders, and clambers into the closest barrel, muttering to no one in particular ,’Good thing I took the time to get my trousers on…I would have scraped the lads something fierce on this rough wood.’ 

Once all thirteen still grumbling and complaining dwarves are in their barrels, and Bilbo has a chance to hammer the lids firmly in place because any one with two working brain cells would know that unsealed barrels would SINK like a stone once water began to slosh over the side in the heavy current, swamping the barrel, the hobbit pushes each barrel with its precious cargo off the loading dock into the water. 

Bilbo stands on the dock smirking to himself as each barrel bobs for a moment before it rolls on its side and begins the slow drift towards the much faster moving river current. Only after Bilbo has hopped into his barrel, does it occur to the hobbit that he cannot seal himself into a barrel. Confound it all! 

Looking around wildly as the last two barrels drift lazily towards the swift current, Bilbo launches himself up and out of the barrel, knocking it over with a loud bang. Quickly scrambling to his feet, the hobbit makes a dive off the dock towards the last barrel just before the current catches it and sweeps it out of sight with the others. 

Now grumbling and muttering under his breath at his own ‘brilliant’ plan, the hobbit somehow manages to climb aboard the rolling and bouncing barrel for a most uncomfortable and soggy trip. 

 

As Thranduil cradles his sleeping wife’s form in his arms against his chest, humming quickly to himself, the elf king considers what to do with damnedable dwarves. The fact that the young blond heir fucked his wife cannot go unpunished, but it was his, Thranduil’s own lust and actions driven by that same said lust for the little blond dwarf that resulted in heir to the title King Under the Mountain being left alone naked with the elven queen in the private royal bath. Oh, confound it all! 

In ruminating over the turn of recent events, Thranduil misses the sound of his bedchamber door being eased open and the silent creep of feet as them pad into the dimly lit room. Taureil’s eyes go first to the bed, and she visibly relaxes as she finds it unoccupied with no trace of having been recently used for any kind of carnal activity. Ha, that stupid queen’s guard, Landir, does NOT know what he is talking about she smirks to herself. At the sound of the bathing pool water sloshing, the captain of the guard quickly makes her way to the doorway connecting the king’s bedchamber to the royal bath. 

Thranduil and Taureil’s eyes lock for a moment before Taureil’s gaze drops to see Elanen sound asleep, reclining quite contentedly in her husband’s arms. The red headed elf’s eyes harden to glitter as they return to meet Thranduil’s. How many blow jobs had Taureil given the elf king, in various and asundry locations around his kingdom, all the while hoping that the king would take HER to his private bedchamber and bath and to his heart? Countless. 

Thranduil just stares back at the elf maid. What? The elf king is taken aback. She thinks that giving him head makes her special to him, well think AGAIN. The red head gave good head, mind you, but really, it’s just head. Anyone with a mouth can give good head, for fuck’s sake. 

‘And you wonder why I would strive to keep Legolas from dallying with you? Honestly, Taureil.’ Thranduil’s voice is ice cold in stark contrast to the billowing steam rising from the hot pool. 

With tears in her eyes, Taureil turns on her heel for the second time tonight and races away from the painful scene, back the way she had just come. If Thranduil did not want her aside from having an open and accommodating mouth, and he would not permit his son, Legolas, to court her; then by all the Valar, she could have the young, naïve dwarf with the scruff on his chin and the wild, dark hair!


	13. Love and sex and the difference between the two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taureil finds the dwarves gone and plans to go after them. Bilbo and the dwarves make it to Laketown and get a chance to relax. Thorin and FIli get some time alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After proofreading this chapter, I very well may make some changes as it is not as humorous as the other chapters and it is much more pompous sounding than I would care for it to be. Oh well, let me know what you think. I know exactly where I want this story to go and how I will end it, but I am open to suggestions to how to make this chapter better. I just may have to sleep on it and make changes tomorrow.

Desperately clinging to a heaving, rolling, bouncing barrel in a roiling river is the hardest thing the hobbit has ever had to do. In the pitch dark, Bilbo is soaking wet and freezing cold. His hands had gone numb an hour ago, and he would SWEAR his cock and balls had retreated to somewhere WITHIN his body in a pitiful attempt to keep from freezing solid and falling off. When the sound of a loud thud of a barrel hitting a solid, unmoving object and the corresponding, indigent squawk of said barrel’s occupant, Bilbo feels hope flare in his heart. He prays to Aule and all the other Valar that they have finally, finally reached Laketown. 

The hobbit realizes that his prayers have indeed been answered when he hears the shouts of men and more thudding of additional barrels knocking against the side of a dock. It is still completely dark, as dawn is still a good hour away, but the dwarves of the company of Thorin Oakenshield have made good their escape from Mirkwood and the Woodland Realm and are one step closer to their destination. 

 

Taureil can only stand agog and open-mouthed at the empty cells. How in the name of Middle Earth had they gotten out? Taureil suddenly jolts as she thinks, Kili, the handsome, beardless dwarf is gone too. The little shit had sworn he loved her, and he just sneaks off in the dead of night without a WORD? 

She then sees the large key ring that SHOULD have been on the person of the Keeper of the Keys, lying discarded by the door leading down to the storage cavern. Fools, she smirks to herself, why would one try to escape by going deeper within the elven stronghold? The Captain of the Guard had not been overly worried with finding the detention cells empty as how could the thirteen dwarves get out of the Woodland Kingdom’s fortress even if they had somehow managed to get out of their cells? 

Terror streaks up her spine as she remembers the river and the barrels that get sent to float down to Laketown from the underground cavern. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shitty shit, Thranduil will be beyond furious if the dwarves had actually managed to escape out of his kingdom. 

Taureil races to the loading dock, knocks the drunken, passed out guards quite solidly on the head for good measure on her way past them, and nervously awaits for the next barge due to arrive shortly so that she may get passage to Laketown BEFORE the dwarves are found to be missing. 

 

In Laketown, the dwarves have been provided quarters to rest, relax and sleep by the Master of Laketown. Not ungrudgingly of course at first, but the prospect of gold beyond measure HAD caught the Master’s full and undivided attention. 

Kili whines about not getting to say goodbye to his love properly to his uncle once too often, and Thorin forcible throws him out of the bedchamber that he, the blonde crown prince, and the moping dark haired prince were to share for the evening. 

Slamming the door in Kili’s outraged face as the youth has opened it to ask just WHERE he was supposed to sleep, the dwarf king shakes ruefully his head at the cheek of the lad. Really, they are at the DOORSTEP of Erebor, and all his youngest nephew can think about is having missed the chance to get some elf-maiden’s knickers off? AND the lad does not seem to consider for a MOMENT the fact that none of the other dwarves give a shit whether he did or did not or how ‘real’ the love between he and this elf is? That is youth for you, Thorin thinks. Stupid as a forge is hot about some things. 

Not the lad’s fault really though, the dwarf king reconsiders. It is not like there were many young darrowdams in Ered Luin for the princes to gain experience with the art of learning the wonders, elation, and heartbreak of love and sex and understanding the very real, but hazy differences between the two. Kili had always been completely uninterested in sexual or emotional relations with other males, unlike his blonde brother, so the lad is really completely untried and unprepared for love or sex. 

Oh, so unlike his blonde brother, who it would seem is anxious for both love and sex from his uncle tonight now that Kili had been unceremoniously ejected from the bedchamber. Fili stretches out on the huge, man sized bed. As soon as Thorin had tossed his brother from the room, the small blonde had shed his remaining clothes and thrown back the covers so that his king may take in his heir’s body, and know the lad was ripe and ready for the taking. 

Thorin can feel his cock instantly begin to swell against the lacings of his breeches. The dwarf king had been down to his trousers and tunic for the past hour as the Durin trio had been preparing for sleep, but now he is becoming rapidly hard and certainly NOT interested in slumber. 

‘You are beautiful, lad.’ Thorin whispers, stepping closer to the bed. ‘So beautiful,’ he repeats, but he does not reach for the dwarf on the bed. Confused, Fili sits up from his reclining position to gaze questioningly up into his lover’s face. Thorin slowly palms his erection through his trousers. He stands by the bed looking back at the blonde with a lustful expression but makes no move towards him. 

Oh, Fili thinks he knows what Thorin wants, and he playfully smiles and slides off the side of the bed to kneel in front of his king, hands in his lap and face tilted up to look up at Thorin expectantly. 

‘Oh lad.’ For a moment that is the only thing Thorin can manage to rasp out before the dwarf king takes a deep, steadying breath and continues. ‘Undo my laces.’ 

‘Yes, my lord.’ Fili eagerly and quickly with neeble fingers unties the laces of Thorin breeches with the barest whisper of contact against the throbbing erection just underneath the fabric. The blonde tugs once to loosen the undone lacings and then immediately withdraws his hands to return them to his lap. 

‘Take me out and suck me. Suck me like you suck Dwalin.’ Thorin commands. 

Fili’s eyes flick up to his uncle’s face, slightly wrong-footed. This is not how they normally play this game. Usually, Thorin wants Fili to handle his erection just long enough to get it to full rutting hardness and then to present his pert little asshole for the taking. Well, the blonde thinks, he HAS just learned a new trick from the elven queen, maybe that is what Thorin wants. 

Shuffling on his knees to get closer to Thorin, Fili reaches into the king’s breeches and draws out the impressive sword pulsing there. Dropping his hands to rub up and down on THorin’s thighs and just using his mouth on that thick fleshy sword, Fili wraps his mouth around his uncle’s cockhead and hollows his cheeks.

‘Hmmmm….yes, use your tongue, lad. That’s right, get it all around my knob. Ahh…’ Thorin’s hands come to rest gently in Fili’s blonde hair and the king starts rocking his hips forward to thrust ever so slightly into his nephew’s mouth. Fili’s and Thorin’s eyes are locked onto one another. 

‘Why had you never told me about you and Dwalin?’ chokes the king. The blonde answers with a slight shrug of one shoulder as his mouth is otherwise occupied at the moment.

‘At first….ngggh…at first, I HATED seeing Dwalin’s cock in your mouth. Furious in fact.’ Fili raises one eyebrow to plainly ask with his expression alone,” and now?” 

‘Once I realized…uhh, gods just like that!’ Thorin unconsciously bucks his hips and then draws in a deep breath to calm himself. ‘Once I realized that what you and Dwalin does not affect what you and I have together, I was…not furious.’ 

Removing Thorin’s erection from his mouth and wanking on it gently, Fili looks up at his uncle with unfettered sincerity. ‘I love you, Thorin, whole-heartedly and without condition. I’m IN love with you. I probably love Dwalin to a degree as well, but what he and I have is mostly just good sex between comrades. I would follow you to the gates of hell or to a dragon’s door on your command, just to please you. You do KNOW that, yeah?’

‘Yes, I know that, lad. I know that.’ Thorin says softly and reaches down to pull his heir up into his arms for a crushing hug. 

‘You know, I love Kili as well. Not like this, mind.’ Fili gestures to his and Thorin’s bodies slotted together. ‘But I would step in between that brat and ANY danger no question.’

‘Aye, I know that, too. He can be a brat, but he is a lovable brat nonetheless.’ Thorin chuckles. 

‘He would be a lot less of a brat, if you stopped letting him off for acting like such a child all the time. You NEVER dole out any punishment for his reckless, willfully disobedient behavior. In fact, you often REWARD him for it. You and everyone else.’ Fili grumbles, looking down to play with Thorin’s chest hair. 

‘And who is ALWAYS stepping in between me and your brother when I attempt to punish him, hmmm? Who might that be, would you say?’ The dwarf king chuckles stroking the blonde’s hair. 

‘Well, yeah, you have a point there.’ 

‘What we FEEL and DO for those we love, Fili, THAT is what is important and THAT is what is real. I have never doubted that you love your brother and value his life more than your own. And I have never doubted your love for me. I hope I have never given you cause to doubt my love for you.’ 

If Thorin notices that Fili does not answer his last statement nor meets his gaze, he gives no indication.


	14. Massive cocks and Impressive loads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin and Fili enjoy each other's company and Thorin talks of how he would like to add Dwalin to the mix.

Fili ducks his head into his uncle’s shoulder and runs his hands up and down the soft, fuzzy hair on Thorin’s belly. 

‘Where were we lad?’ The king moans, licking and kissing Fili’s ear. The blonde makes to sink back to his knees to resume sucking Thorin’s cock, but he stops himself and with a firm shake of his head asks ‘Do you love me? Truly?’

‘Of course I do.’ Thorin chuckles. ‘Now… ‘ Thorin applies pressure to Fili’s shoulder with his large hand to encourage the lad downward.

‘No.’ Shaking off the hand, the blonde asks again,’ DO you LOVE me? Or do you just love FUCKING me? Or me sucking YOU? I would like an answer, please.’ The blonde sniffs. 

Thorin’s mouth hangs open a moment or two as he stares at Fili’s pinched face and trembling bottom lip before he barks in laughter. ‘Oh for fuck’s sake, one drama queen is quite enough, thank you, and your brother has garnered THAT role his entire life, lad! Now, get down there and suck me off.’ Wagging his red, swollen cock and its purplish knob with one hand, Thorin clamps his other hand on Fili’s shoulder and very firmly pushes the blonde back to his knees. 

Fili pouts for an instant, but Thorin rubs his cockhead against the red pucker of the blonde’s pursed lips. ‘Of course, I love you. And yes, I SO love shoving my cock into your ass, Mahal, I DO love that.’ THorin shudders with lust at the thought while he continues to move his knob back and forth across Fili’s soft lips. ‘AND I love you sucking my cock, lad. BUT I would love you even if you did not do those things with me. Disappointed, yes, but stop loving you? Never. You are a fine, honorable dwarf with a stout and willing heart and I am proud to have you as my nephew, my heir, and my lover. Do you understand?’ 

Fili pokes his pink tongue out to flick little licks as his king swipes his cockhead against his lips. ‘Yes, my king. I understand.'

‘Mahal, lad, that IS good.’ Thorin groans as he watches that wicked little pink muscle housed in his nephew’s mouth give little kitten licks to his pulsing head. 

'Would you like to finish in my mouth or…’ the impish blonde trails off, teasing his lover. 

‘Uhm…I would like to finish in your mouth, lad. But I want to bring Dwalin in so he can watch you swallow my load.’ The dark haired king croaks, ‘THEN I want to sit back and watch him fuck you into the mattress.’ 

Fili rears his head back to peer intensely up at his uncle. ‘Uh…You want Dwalin to…I’ve never taken his cock. It’s massive.’ 

‘And what is mine?’ THorin asks peevishly. 

‘Large, very large, but I CAN get my lips and mouth wrapped around yours. Dwalin’s barely fit. Working on it for long hurts my jaw. And when he spills..uh..it’s also massive.’ The blonde admits in a whisper. 

‘Hmmm, I saw first-hand the kind of load he can deliver when he spewed it all over the elven queen. Quite the sight, I must say. All the more reason to have it up your ass, Fili.’ Thorin replies in a husky, lustfilled voice. ‘I want to watch him take you, see you shudder and writhe under him, watch him spill his impressive load into you and THEN I want to shove my cock into your gaping hole to add my spend to his.’ 

‘Yes, my king, oh yes!’ Fili moans and opens his mouth to draw in Thorin’s erection, his blue eyes blown wide with arousal, and they never leave his king’s hooded gaze.


	15. yeah, oh yeah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili sees Tauriel arrive in Laketown and he is overjoyed. Thorin summons Dwalin to his and Fili's bedchamber.

Kili mopes on the balcony overlooking the massive lake that surrounds Laketown. Swinging his legs in impotent rage and misery, the young archer alternates between fury at his uncle for making him leave without first giving him a chance to speak to Tauriel and anger and sadness at his brother and uncle for throwing him out of their royal bedchamber. Looking out over the lake, Kili sees another barge arriving at the dock. His heart jumps into his throat as he sees the red headed elven captain of the guard leap off the barge before it docks. Tauriel has come for him! Yes, oh yes, overjoyed, the dark haired dwarf, scrambles to his feet and rushes over the railing of the balcony so that he can clamber down the outside of the house the Master of Laketown has provided for the dwarves, and he runs as fast as his short legs can take him towards his love. 

 

Thorin stares down at his heir’s blue eyes as they look lovingly back up at his own blue eyes. Flicking his gaze down to Fili’s mouth as the lad’s lips are stretched around the king of the dwarrow’s cockhead and the blonde head bobs slowly to slide his wonderful mouth up and down his swollen shaft. 

Thorin has both hands in Fili’s golden hair, as he pets his nephew’s head and encourages the pace of the bobbing of the blonde head to increase. As Fili takes his king’s cock faster in and out of his mouth, Thorin sighs in pleasure and removes one hand to pound on the side of the bedchamber wall. Thorin knows his shield brother, Dwalin, is on the other side of the wall as the large warrior is sharing another bedchamber with his brother, Balin. 

‘Yeah?’ Comes the muffled, gruff reply. 

‘Get in here, Dwalin.’ 

‘Yeah?’ Dwalin asks again, more hesitantly. 

‘By Mahal’s beard, Dwalin, get in HERE!’

‘Are your pants on fire, Thorin?’

‘In a manner of speaking, YES, Dwalin! GET yourself in here, NOW!’ Thorin positively bellows. 

Fili has not stopped his ministrations to his king’s erection, but he does smile around the hard-on in his mouth at the exchange between his uncle and his weapons master. On his knees with his back to the door, the blonde hears the door being yanked open and the heavy tread of Dwalin’s boots as he slowly enters Thorin and Fili’s bedchamber. 

‘Hmmm, what could you want that you are NOT already getting, my king?’ Dwalin asks in an amused tone.

‘I would like to see you take him.’ Thorin answers simply. Dwalin visibly starts in surprise. 

‘Yeah?’

‘Yes.’

‘Uhm…while his sucks you off or after?’ Dwalin asks curiously, rubbing his rough hand over his bristling beard. 

‘Ah, I had not thought of letting you fuck him as he gives me head.’ Thorin answers, mirroring Dwalin’s gesture of stroking his beard. 

‘Mayhap, we can try that another time. No, I would like to see you take him, now.’ Wrapping one hand around his shaft and gently inserting his thumb of the other slightly into the corner of Fili’s mouth to break the suction, Thorin’s pulls his erection back from Fili’s suckling mouth as a mother would remove her nipple from her infant's mouth. Fili obediently opens his mouth to let his uncle withdraw his erection. 

Drawing in a very deep breath at the loss of the wonderful sensation of the warmth and action of Fili’s mouth and tongue on his hard-on, the dwarven king retires over to one of the overstuffed chairs by the hearth and gestures to Dwalin to indicate that the weapons master should do what he would with small blonde. Scooting the chair closer to the bed, Thorin takes a seat so that he can have full view of the bed, the large, man-sized bed, which Dwalin has just deposited the naked crown prince onto. 

‘On your hands and knees, lad. Stick that pert, little ass up in the air for me.’ Dwalin gruffly orders. Glancing back at his king one more time to ensure that Thorin is actually permitting him to fuck his precious, blonde heir, Dwalin grunts at Thorin’s smile and nod of encouragement and slowly removes his clothes. 

Fili rests his head against the bed clothes, with his ass high in the air just as instructed. He has spent his lifetime obeying Dwalin’s orders, Thorin’s orders, too. He relishes the sight of Dwalin’s nude body, all bulging muscles, tattoos, and a covering of dark hair everywhere, except on his bald head. Fili glances behind Dwalin’s fine form to see that Thorin is also enjoying the sight of the large warrior in his naked state. Filli smiles as he watches Thorin stroking his purple erection slowly as he sits. When Thorin notices Dwalin looking around, he suspects he knows what the tattooed dwarf is searching for. 

‘Here, Dwalin.’ Thorin tosses a small bottle of slick and Dwalin catches it neatly. 

‘Ok, lad, I’m going to open you now, yeah?’ 

‘Yeah, oh yeah, Dwalin….please.’ Fili whispers and wags his ass slightly to hopefully spur the warrior to stop talking and get to it.


	16. Dwalin takes Fili

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin finally gets his cock into Fili. Thorin enjoys the show and offers Fili some encouragement. Fili is not entirely appreciative of Thorin's words of advice in the moment.

Dwalin feels his breath catch in his throat as he watches the blonde heir’s ass ungulate slowly. The large warrior has been dallying with the king’s heir and consort for a couple of years now, strictly in the oral sense, of course, and he had NEVER even considered the thought of actually being able to fuck the small dwarf’s pink pucker. Thorin Oakenshield, exiled King Under the Fucking Mountain and King of the Dwarrow is NOT the sharing type of dwarf. Frankly, most dwarves aren’t, but in particular not, the very possessive and cankerous direct line of Durin. 

Dwalin feels his cock harden to a fierce rigidity, but he draws in a deep, steadying breath to calm himself. He must open that dusky pink rosebud winking at him first. Fumbling slightly with the cork stuck in the bottle of slick, the tattooed dwarf, finally loses patience and yanks it out with his teeth. Stalking to the bed, purple erection slapping a wee bit painfully against his taunt, muscled belly, Dwalin reaches for Fili and drags the lad closer to the end of the bed. 

Fili mewls and arches his back like a small, blonde cat. Dwalin steals a quick glance over to Thorin and the king looks on with a heavy, hooded eyelid, lust filled gaze, mouth open and panting slightly. Dwalin realizes he must look very similar to his king as his own eyes feel heavy and he is having a hard time catching his breath. The two old friends lock eyes for a moment, Dwalin asking permission for the final time before he touches Fili’s most intimate part, and Thorin giving consent. 

‘Please Mister Dwalin….I need you, please.’ Fili’s voice breaks the silent communication between the king and his most trusted lieutenant. 

‘I’m right here, lad.’ Dwalin murmurs as he runs his large hands over Fili’s buttocks gently a few times before he roughly pulls the fair ass cheeks apart. Bending over, Dwalin presses a soft kiss to the lad’s fluttering pucker. 

‘Ohhhhh….’ Fili’s breath hitches. He has never felt this sensation before and he is one part unbelievably aroused and the other part mortified. Dwalin spits on the lad’s bud to wet it and swipes his tongue over it a few times. 

‘Mahal!’ Thorin exclaims in a broken whisper. The king has never had the pleasure of someone tonguing his hole. Today just might be the day to start. Fili is amazing with his wicked little mouth and tongue. Thorin makes a mental note to be sure to ask Fili for this type of pleasure the next time Fili gives him head. 

Dwalin had smirked at Thorin exclamation, but of course, the king could not SEE Dwalin’s smiling mouth as it was pressed to Fili’s ass. Sucking on his middle finger, the large dwarf, coats it with his spit and presses it in to the first knuckle. Fili moans and tosses his blonde head. 

‘Like that, do you?’ Dwalin hums. With his other hand, Dwalin pours some of the slick into Fili’s ass crack and lets it run down, over his hole and onto his balls. Removing his one finger, Dwalin rubs it into the slick and plunges it back in as far as it will go. With his one finger probing for Fili’s special little nub deep inside, Dwalin uses the other fingers of that hand to ghost over the blonde’s fuzzy balls, feeling them tighten and draw up. 

‘Ahhh…’ Fili wails. Yep, Dwalin had found his special spot alright, but he does not want Fili to come yet so he withdraws his finger so that it is not pegging the lad’s prostate any longer.

‘Ohh…Mister Dwalin.’ Fili pants mournfully. He was so close only to be pulled back from the edge. 

‘I want to feel you come on my cock, lad.’ Dwalin rumbles. Fili nods, looking up at his mentor with glazed eyes. ‘Good lad.’

Spearing another finger in the blonde’s ass, hearing his keening little wail, and feeling the smaller dwarf press back against his hand in hopes of having those long, thick fingers jab his prostate again, Dwalin smiles like a wolf getting ready to feast upon a kill. The warrior makes sure to avoid the lad’s prostate, and adds a third finger and scissors them to open the lad up sufficiently. 

‘Enough, Dwalin, for Mahal’s sake, fuck him already!’ Thorin commands, wanking harder on his cock, the king’s eyes just as glazed over with lust as his heir’s. 

‘Sure, Thorin. It will be a tight fit, though.’ Damn it, Dwalin wishes he could control his breathing better, but he is beyond riled up at this point and wants to sink his cock in Fili’s heat just as bad as Fili and Thorin wants him to. 

Pressing his slicked up erection against the blonde’s pucker with one hand, the other works to spread Fili’s ass cheeks as far apart as possible, Dwalin rumbles a low warning. ‘Relax, lad. Here it comes now.’

Thorin eyes are riveted to Dwalin’s large knob as it nudges against Fili’s hole and then as the large dwarf presses in, how the pucker stretches to its limit to accommodate the intrusion. Dwalin’s own eyes are also on his cockhead as it disappears into the blonde’s heat. Once the cockhead pops past the straining ring of muscle, Dwalin stops stock still as he feels Fili’s hole spasm around his cockhead, strangling it. 

When Dwalin stilled, Thorin’s eyes shift to Fili’s face which is a mask of pain, eyes wide opened and the whites clearly visiable like that of a spooked horse’s. The lad’s normally stotic and handsome features are twisted in a grimace of acute pain and his breath comes in high pitched gasps. Any pleasure the lad was experiencing before is gone awash in a sea of pain. 

‘Fili? Can you take it, lad?’ Thorin asks in concern. Dropping his erection and coming forward out of his seat to kneel next to the bed so that his face is inches from his heir and consort’s face, king and heir’s foreheads touching.

‘Ah, ah, ah, ah….’ Is all Fili can manage as he writhes under Dwalin’s bulk, his eyes frantic as they rove over his uncle’s face.

‘Should I withdraw, Thorin?’ Dwalin asks genuinely concerned now. He does NOT want to hurt the boy. 

‘Fili, relax, lad.’ Thorin says gently, petting Fili’s hair and shoulder.

‘It hurts. So bad, uncle. It’s so big. I’m afraid it will tear me in two.’ Fili sobs, closing his eyes tightly.

‘You will NOT break, Fili. Bend into the pain. Yield with it, but do not let it break you, remember your lessons, lad? Relax, and the pain will melt into pleasure. ‘ 

Fili glares angrily at his uncle for a moment. Really, the prig has the gall to go on about bending into pain, blah, blah, blah? It was not HIS asshole being torn apart by Dwalin’s massive cock. And it was only the HEAD of it in now. What the fuck would happen when Dwalin shoved the entire length into him? Would he split right down the midline? 

‘You’re taking it so well, little prince.’ Dwalin soothes as he rubs his hands gently over Fili’s lower back. ‘I’ll wait until you tell me to move. I do not want to hurt you, lad, yeah?’ 

‘It’s a damn sight late for THAT, Dwalin.’ Fili snaps, but the blonde feels the waves of pain crashing down on his beginning to recede. Instead a thrumming fullness, of being utterly plugged to his limit, creeps up his spine and into his pelvis and lions. Tentatively, the young dwarf arches his back so that he rocks himself backwards a few millimeters. The pain has indeed melted away to be replaced with intense pleasure from the fullness of the hot cock impaling him. 

Dwalin grunts and sighs in pleasure as Fili’s hole swallows another inch of his cock. Many more inches to go, but it is a start. Dwalin takes one hand to gently roll Fili’s stones and he smirks as he feels the lad push himself back further onto his cock. The little wench is fucking himself back ONTO Dwalin’s cock. 

Fuck that, Dwalin thinks and places his hands on the bed on either side of Fili’s body and rolls his hips forward. He’ll teach the little blonde wench to cry and sob in pain only to then turn into a wanton whore a few moments later. 

‘Ohhhhh….’ Fili moans partly in pain, but in just as much pleasure, too. ‘Your cock is SO thick, Dwalin.’ 

‘You want it all, boy? I’ll give it to you.’ 

It is Thorin who answers, ‘Yes, Dwalin, give it to him. Pound him. Pump him hard.’ The king’s voice is hoarse and panting with want. 

 

‘Yes, my king.’ Rumbles Dwalin, and he snaps his hips forward to bury himself balls deep into the little blonde’s body. As the lad sobs from pain or pleasure or more likely a mixture of both, Dwalin is not sure, but he pumps himself hard in and out the lad, feeling the tight hole mould itself around his cock. The pleasure for Dwalin is immense, and all too soon, he feels his stones begin to draw up and heat pool and coil low in his pelvis. 

Fili writhes from the pain of Dwalin’s brutal pace, but he arches his back so that his uncle’s shieldbrother’s cock finds his prostate, and the pain fades away as the pleasure overwhelms the blonde. With each stabbing jab of Dwalin’s knob to his prostate and the friction of his cock against the sheets caused by Dwalin’s weight shoving him bodily forward with each thrust, inches Fili closer and closer to orgasm. 

It is Dwalin’s deep grunts in his ear that finally push the young dwarf over the edge into his climax. His hips buck feebly under the much larger bulk of the captain of the guard’s body draped over his own, and his pucker clamps down on Dwalin’s driving shaft. Fili cries and wails throughout his release. The velvet vice of Fili’s channel as it spasms and milks his cock during the lad’s climax, has Dwalin following the blonde into his own blinding orgasm. Mewling, squirming, and clutching at Dwalin’s arms as they are braced on either side of his head, Fili relishes every hot spurt Dwalin delivers deep within his body. Panting under the weight of Dwalin, Fili loves the feeling of the flood of spend as it coats his insides. 

Thorin is shaking in his seat. He has had to stop tugging on his erection for fear he would spill over his palm as he watches his most trusted warrior slump over his heir’s small frame, and the pair try to catch their breath. Dwalin lifts his head to look albeit blurrily at his king and he grins at Thorin’s wrecked expression. 

‘Your turn, my king.’ Dwalin slurs as his slips his wilting cock from Fili’s wet and swollen hole, rolling off the little blonde’s body to lay supine and grinning up at the ceiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I will wrap up the smut with the next chapter and then will get to the twist and tie the events of this twisted version of the Hobbit to the LOTR and the characters there in.


	17. Henceforth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kili reunites with Tauriel. Thorin has his turn with Fili in a new position. And Fili LOVES it and will demand it henceforth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not really proofread this chapter before posting. My kids were sick with a stomach virus and no one in our house got much sleep last night, what with one and then the other vomming throughout the night. A LOT of laundry had be to done throughout the night as well. I digress, I did not proofread (not like I'm great at proofreading to begin with, as I am sure you can already tell) this chapter before posting simply because I wanted to get an update posted before we went to bed.

While Dwalin lies on his back catching his breath, smiling up at the ceiling, elsewhere in Laketown, the youngest heir of Thorin Oakenshield, Kili smiles up into the breasts of the red headed elven captain of the guard also trying to catch his breath. Kili is totally unfamiliar with the sights, smells, and tactile sensation of having his face pressed into the softness and lovely smell of a female’s bosom, but oh ho, he is making up for lost time NOW. He plans to enjoy it from here on out, thank you very much. 

Tauriel smiles down at the clueless, albeit adoring face of the dark haired dwarf. The twit had run to her and thrown himself bodily into her arms as she had disembarked from the barge. Originally, the elven guard had come to Laketown to pursue the dwarves for two very divergent reasons. On one hand, Tauriel had wanted to reconnect with the young dwarf who was so obviously infatuated and enraptured with her, but on the other, if she could recapture the escaped dwarves, could she recapture her king, Thranduil’s, favor and possibly his heart? 

Ultimately, the wild haired dwarf made the decision for her. When he launched himself at her, for one heart stopping moment Tauriel thought he was attacking her, but she caught the look in the dwarf’s eyes, the overly bright, slightly mad, love-addled look and she melted. She opens her arms and lets the lad wrap himself around her lithe body. Since he only comes up to her breasts, Kili sticks his nose into her cleavage and rubs his face in between her tits. His stubble catches on her plunging tunic and pushes it aside, providing the lad a welcome opportunity to latch on her exposed nipple. Tauriel sighs in pleasure and runs her fingers lovingly through his wild locks. Oh, she plans on enjoying this pleasure henceforth and anon.

 

As his youngest nephew nurses at his beloved’s breast, the King Under of Mountain climbs unsteadily to his feet to stagger to the bed where Fili lies prone and wrecked next to a grinning, supine Dwalin. Climbing up on the huge, man-sized bed, Thorin runs his hands over Fili’s exposed backside and reverently ghosts his fingertips across the lad’s still open and leaking rim. 

‘Nicely done, Dwalin.’ Thorin murmurs appreciatively as he sees glob after glob of his shield brother’s impressive load of semen burble out of his sister son, his consort and heir. By Mahal’s flaming beard was it a glorious sight. The light dusting of blonde hair across the young dwarf’s backside is beautiful, coupled with lad’s golden fuzzed covered stones with Dwalin’s recent release running down and dripping from them, takes Thorin’s breath from him. 

Wrapping his arm under his heir’s narrow waist and slim hips, Thorin tugs Fili’s pert, little bottom up so that the lad is on his knees again, but the crown prince cannot maintain the position and slides back down onto the sheets, little whimpers escaping from his lips. 

Hmmm….wonders the king of the dwarves, if his heir cannot stay on his knees properly to be taken from behind, mayhap he should be put on his back and taken as a maiden should? Thorin has had enough experience with dwarrowdams and the females of the race of men to know that they like to be nailed to the bed and then nuzzled and cuddled afterwards. Perhaps Fili would like it this way as well?

Flipping the lad over, a squeak of surprise leaving Fili’s lips, Thorin pushes his heir’s legs up to his chest and thrusts his aching erection into the lad’s semen slicked hole. 

‘Ahhhhhh!’ Both king and crown prince gasp in a mixture of relief and pleasure. Deep moans and groans from uncle and nephew reveberate throughout the large bedchamber. Thorin will not last long pumping furiously in and out of Fili’s heat, his cock coated in his shield brother’s spend. 

Fili will not last long as he feels Thorin’s shaft squish into Dwalin’s spill deep within himself, jabbing his prostate over and over again, and he writhes under his uncles’s larger bulk as his smaller frame is pounded into the mattress. His king has never taken him this way. Pressed down into the sheets, Thorin’s hands under his knees pushing them up and apart, and Thorin’s large, albeit not as large as Dwalin’s but still plenty long and thick enough shaft plunging in and out of him, Fili has never been so thoroughly at another’s mercy, so dominated, and he LOVES it. Oh Mahal, does he love it. By the gods, Thorin will take him like this from now on!!! 

Deeply grunting through his release, Thorin spills within the young blonde, and the spurts splashing into his channel pushes Fili into his own grunting orgasm. 

‘Oof!’ Fili exhales as the full, heavy weight of his uncle presses him further into mattress when Thorin eases himself down onto Fili's little body, and forces the remaining air from his nephew's lungs. Thorin slides his rough hands up and under Fili’s neck to cradle the lad’s head. attempting to catch his breath, the King Under the Mountain, nuzzles and kisses the blonde tenderly, murmuring how much he loves the lad. 

Oh sweet Mahal’s tits, Fili thinks, he could get used to this. The crown prince will demand that Thorin fuck him AND cuddle him like this henceforth.

Dwalin smiles even more broadly as he watches Thorin give Fili the affection the lad so desperately wants. Yep, tonight is a GOOD night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe a couple more chapters to come and then the big finish.


	18. Gone mad?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The elf queen is thought to be mad for craving vension. Thorin is thought to be mad for craving the Arkenstone. Kili is thought to be mad for craving the elf who imprisoned him and the rest of the company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay! Work has been very busy of late and I have been traveling for work and personal reasons of late. I hope to wrap this one up in a couple more chapters. And work on my other fics.

Deep within the Woodland Realm and weeks after the dwarves had somehow disappeared from the elven dungeons, Elanan, the elven queen of the Greenwood, Thranduil’s wife and mother of Legolas, strokes her belly absentmindedly. Thranduil watches his wife’s hand as it moves across her breasts and midsection. 

Frowning, the elven king notes that her breasts have become more swollen than usual. Not like he has gotten a good look at them over the last hundred years, but recently, he has a least gotten to hold his wife in his arms, and he can SEE a minute differences in her breasts. They are larger, fuller somehow, and the nipples, he would swear have become just a touch darken since the night in the bath. Hmmm…maybe her skin treatment had something to do with it he muses. 

Landir can assuredly sense a marked difference in his queen. She is demanding unusual foods high in calories and fat and has become much more serene and absentminded of late. Could be all the calories she is consuming he ruminates. Excess fat and sugar can affect and slow the mind for sure. He has been running himself ragged to keep his queen sated, food-wise, of late. At least, those little shits, the dwarves had gone. Poof…. the stocky, little fuckers had just vanished. Not for nothing, but that idiot, Tauriel, along with them. A coincidence? Landir highly doubts THAT. 

Landir laughs at the thought of the red-head elf-maid. She is not a competent captain of her own shoes, much less of the king’s guard, but apparently, she got her position from the positions she can get herself in, the elven queen’s personal guard thinks snarkily. Seriously, she has sucked the king and fucked the heir to her current post but will fiercely proclaim that she received her rank through her own merits. 

Sighing heavily, Landir ponders over his future employment options once again. It was bad enough being a dwarf courier for the queen, fetching THREE dwarves for her pleasure. Now he is a food courier for his queen.  
Elanan’s mind wanders to food yet again. Why is she so damn hungry? As in all the time. She alternates between feeling queasy to ravenous almost constantly and oh ho, her breasts?! Are they sore and swollen! Perhaps she got some communicable disease from her carnal relations with the dwarves. Elanan had heard rumors of a certain madness that can be spread from sexual contact, but she has never heard any first- hand accounts of such maladies. Her brain is distracted by her stomach’s grumbles yet again, and she calls out, ‘Landir? Could you fetch me some more roast vension? And oranges? Several of them, please.’

Shit, Landir thinks sourly, vension and oranges? The queen must have caught something or other from those foul little fucks. She is obviously gone mad. She wants vension? Deer meat? Thranduil rides a fucking ELK and she wants deer meat? Yes, she has gone blooming mad. 

 

Fili stands on the parapet overlooking the gates of Erebor, and the lad tries to recall the wonderful moments that night in Laketown as Thorin had nuzzled into his neck and hair, murmuring words of love and tenderness to him instead of thinking how fast things have gone to shit with the reclaiming of Erebor. Seriously? Things were better BEFORE the damn dragon was slain- with almost being roasted by trolls, mangled or bone crushed by goblins, and imprisoned by elves? Or rather presumed slain, Fili reminds himself as the damn winged slug flew out of the Lonely Mountain a week ago and never returned. Any sensible dwarf would assume the beast had met a foul end, but Fili had a bad feeling how events were unfolding. 

The cold wind of winter blows in his face and pushes his golden hair back from his face. Gone are any words of love from Thorin these days. Yes, the dragon, the terror, Smaug, is presumed dead, but instead bringing joy, it has only unleashed a deep unsettling in his beloved uncle. For some inexplicable reason, Thorin is desperate to retrieve the Arkenstone, but he only needed the Arkenstone to force that fuckwit, Dain, and all the other dwarf lords to rally to his cause and fight the dragon. Now that the dragon is gone, what the fuck is up with his uncle’s obsession for a blasted stone? Has Thorin gone mad? Then there is his equally fuckwitted brother, Kili’s, mental health to worry on.

Kili swears he is in love with the elf-maid, Tauriel, an elf, the sworn enemy of their kind, the captain of the guard of the king, Thranduil? Ah, Thranduil, another immense fuckwit, who betrayed their great- grandfather, turned his back on dwarves of Erebor in their darkness hour, and who IMPRISONED them for no reason other than he could? Yes sir, a fuckwit indeed and that makes anyone who serves him a fuckwit as well. Ergo, the red headed elven guard is also a fuckwit, but oh ho, Kili insists that they are in love. 

Fucking seriously? Fili huffs out in irritation. Only someone as self-serving, selfish, and frankly, less than smart, as his little brother WOULD think himself in love with the very one who put him in a dungeon cell and who he has only known for a day? And only someone equally self-serving, selfish, and stupid would have been so taken with a prisoner whose first words to them is to invite a search his trousers as Kili had done to Tauriel. What complete and utter fools. 

Thank Mahal, Thorin had put his heavy, boot encased, foot down when Tauriel had tried to accompany the dwarves when they made their way up the slopes of the Lonely Mountain. 

‘No, madam, you may NOT join us.’ Thorin had said, tight lipped. Kili had pouted and wailed to no avail. 

‘I’ll stay here in Laketown with Tauriel!’ the dark haired prince had finally shrieked in an empty threat to their uncle. If only we could be so lucky Fili had thought at the time. No, his brother would no more leave the group than jump to the moon and back. Kili craves attention and a rapt audience, he would never have left dwarves to stay among men who were mistrustful and suspicious of dwarves. 

‘Fine, do that, lad. If you feel that is what you need to do, then so be it.’ Thorin had answered coldly. Their uncle had tired of Kili’s shit long ago. Turning to the others, Thorin had ordered an immediate departure for Lonely Mountain. Time had been running out for them to find hidden door. Once they got into the mountain, the little hobbit could slip in unseen and unheard and Mahal- willing, find the Arkenstone. That was what was SUPPOSED to happen; however, that is not how things worked out. 

Got to the gray stone where the thrush knocked as the sunset on Durin’s Day, check! The last rays of setting sun shone upon the keyhole of the hidden door, check! Mister Bilbo Baggins of Bag End, master burgler, slipped into the halls of stone, check! Then things went right to shit. 

Mister quiet as a mouse, can slip unseen, Baggins WOKE the fucking dragon, fuck! The enraged dragon flew out of the mountain to set Laketown ablaze, fuck! Thank Mahal, the dragon did not return, but Thorin descended into a glaze-eyed, shell of his former regal self, reveling in the gold and jewels. Fili does not see the appeal of gold. Fili must give his little brother credit, Kili may be mad for an elf-maid, but he does not seem affected by the gold and gems either. Nor fat old Bombor.


	19. No, no, no....

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle of Five Armies is over. The three sons of Durin have passed into legend. Thranduil is thankful that his son, Legolas, had NOT been at the Battle of Five Armies, but the elf king is in for a surprise when he returns to his Woodland Realm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like my crazy idea. I just could not see the line of Durin end after the BOFA so I dreamed up a preposterous scenario.

Thranduil looks out over the smoldering remains of the battlefield of what will eventually become known as the Battle of Five Armies while Thorin Oakenshield and his two sister-sons, Fili and Kili will pass into legend. What a bloody waste of life Thranduil thinks; however, he does give thanks that he had chosen to bring his army to Erebor to demand the white gems of pure starlight. 

Frankly, it is pure coincidence he and his army happened to be parked outside the front gate of Erebor with another army of ragtag men from Laketown, led by the Dragonslayer, Bard, when unexpectedly, that blasted old meddler, Gandalf the Grey Wizard, had showed up right in the middle of things with wild tales of an army of goblins lead by the spawn of Azog, Bolg, closing in on the Lonely Mountain. Confound it all, but the wizard had been right! It is another happy coincidence that Thorin, in his gold addled madness had summoned his equally more than half mad cousin, Dain Ironfoot, Azog-slayer at the Battle of Azanulbizar and his dwarven army to the scene. 

Well, that was the Battle of Four Armies, one where elves, men, and dwarves had banded together to fight against hordes of goblins or orcs as they are called in elfish. Thranduil had thought the day would have been lost until the giant eagles had descended the sky to enjoin the fight. Also, it had been immensely fortuitous that the last of his kind, the giant bear skinchanger, Beorn had arrived with the eagles. Lucky in the fact that Beorn had slain Bolg and had carried a severely wounded Thorin from the field. 

The dwarf who had briefly been the King Under the Mountain, Thorin Oakenshield, the one who dared to retake his mountain home, succumbed to his wounds after learning of the deaths of his young, such young sister sons. Thorin had named his crazy ass cousin, Dain Ironfoot, the next king of the dwarrows. Thranduil wonders if it is the knowledge that his youthful nephews had died defending him is what had actually been the death of the mighty Thorin Oakenshield. 

Sighing deeply, as Thranduil wonders how his own son, Legolas, fares. Since the platinum blonde elf princeling had not left the Woodland Realm to participate in the would be attack and/or siege of Erebor that had turned into the Battle of Five Armies, the elven king knows that his son will be upset with having missed out on the legendary battle. Oh well, better to have missed out than to have been slain in his youth, Thranduil thinks. 

Once the three sons of Durin had buried within the very mountain kingdom that they had died defending, Thranduil leaves to return to his own kingdom. At his arrival home after weeks of being away, the elven king is unexpectedly met by his son who has an extremely anxious look on his young face. 

‘Mother is gone.’ The elven youth says simply without preamble. 

‘Gone, gone where?’ Where in Middle Earth would Elanan have gone? Why would she have left especially if there are possibly remnants of goblin armies roving around? 

‘She is with child, father. She said she loved me, but that she had to go. Why!?’ Legolas cries despondently to his father for answers just like the elf prince had done so often do when he was but an elfling. 

‘Uh, with child? As in pregnant?’ Thranduil asks quite bewildered. Well, how could she be pregnant, they have not had sex in decades? Vague though he may be about how elven maids nether regions work, the elven king DOES know where baby elves come from. She could not have just spontaneously gotten knocked up…but, wait, that little blonde dwarf had…

‘No, no, no….’ Thranduil gasps, shaking his head trying to deny the inevitable conclusion he is drawing.

Tightlipped, Legolas just nods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok- Folks I tried to relay the details of the BOFA here as accurately as I can remember from the book 'Hobbit': No Azog, he was already dead. No Legolas, he was NOT even mentioned in the Hobbit. No Taureil. Period. There is only one goblin/orc army as goblin and orcs are one in the same. Beorn kills Bolg. Fili and Kili die defending a fallen Thorin, not in the fuckwitted manner in which the movies depict. Thorin dies in his tent after he names Dain king and he apologizes to Bilbo. There is an eleborate funeral which is also fuckwittedly left out of the movie. I mean seriously, the other movies are almost three hours each and PJ could not include a 10 minute funeral/mourning scene? Ugh...so the last couple of paragraphs diverge from the book obviously. There is no Elanan in any works by Tolkien. Period. In any condition. This is purely some idea that I dreamed up.


	20. Whose then

Deep within his old home, the Lonely Mountain, Dwalin, tries to choke down his meal. Bombur had made his favorite, braised lamb with new potatoes, but since the battle, food had no taste to the warrior. He simply could not enjoy food, the reclamation of Erebor, or anything really while his friend, his cousin, his KING, Thorin Oakenshield and the king's two nephews, Fili and Kili lay in their tombs within the mountain. So it is a fine distraction when one of the dwarven guards from the Iron Hills comes to find the former captain of the king’s guard. 

‘Uhm…Captain Dwalin?’ 

‘It’s just Dwalin now, lad. What is it?’

‘Well, there is this elf here….’

Gripping Grasper firmly in one hand, Dwalin stands and thinks if that stupid red headed elf maiden has come here to blubber about how real her love for the youngest member of their company had been and that justifies her request to stay at Erebor, he just may relieve her head from her shoulders. 

Paling at the hard glitter in Dwalin’s eye and his tight grip on the axe, the Iron Hills dwarf continues in a rush, ‘He just showed up this evening and requests on behalf and at the bequest of his queen, an audience with you. Or at least, best we can figure, you. His exact words were: “the large, bald, dwarf with all the tattoos, one of the dwarves of Thorin Oakenshield’s company”. I say, who else could that be, yeah?’

‘Did this elven guard have a particular grim scowl?’

Brightening, as it is apparent that Dwalin clearly knew this elf as the elf clearly knew Dwalin, the dwarf from Iron Hills nods enthusiastically.

‘What in the name of Mahal and all the Valar would HE be doing here?’ Wonders Dwalin aloud. 

‘Said he and his queen had some unfinished business with you, Captain.’

Unfinished business? Did that mean the elven queen had come to get another shagging by ole Dwalin, huh? Well, we shall see thinks the bald dwarf as he nods to the other dwarf and indicates that he should lead the way. 

Just outside the front gate, Landir paces back and forth. His signature scowl is now permanently engraved in his face, thank you. What with the events of the last several months, being a dwarven sex courier, a vension and oranges food courier, and NOW, a bearer of bad news for his pregnant queen courier. He had gotten confirmation that yes indeed the little blonde fuck AND the older dark haired fuck had been slain in the Battle of the Five Armies, but the bald headed fuck had made it through. 

At first, Elanan’s eyes had welled with tears and she had stroked her swelling belly, but she had rallied and had asked Landir to return to the front gates of Erebor and request an audience with the bald warrior dwarf. Oh fucking lovely, Landir had thought. What would she possibly say to the dwarf? I have spawn of the little blonde fuck right here, as she pats her belly? How fucking well will THAT little bit of news go over with these prickling assed dwarves? Especially now that Dain of the Iron Hills is now King Under the Mountain? We just may lose our heads yet thinks Landir sourly as he waits impatiently for the large, bald dwarf with all the tattoos.

When Dwalin strides into view, Landir gulps as he notices the axe in the dwarf’s right hand. 

‘By my beard, it IS you! Why in the name of all Middle Earth would you be here?’ demands Dwalin without preamble. 

‘My queen, Elanan, would like to speak to you.’ Landir answers tightly. 

‘About? Does she need another good fucking?’ 

‘Hardly, she is in need of a safe place to rest through the remaining months of her pregnancy and to deliver her child.’

That news puts the bald fuck back on his heels, Landir thinks smugly, but Dwalin is only momentarily surprised.

‘Why the fuck would she seek sanctuary HERE of all places to bear Thranduil’s child?'

‘Because it is not Thranduil’s child I carry.’ Comes the soft voice of the elven queen herself. She had grown impatient waiting for Landir to come fetch her from where she had remained hidden, and she had made her way to the front gate with a large riding cloak around her form and its hood hiding her face. 

‘Whose then?’ Snorts Dwalin dismissively. Then he pales at her sad smile. Oh fuck, oh fuck….wait I did not come in her. Thorin did not come in here. It could only be…oh fuck, oh fuck indeed.

Dwalin rushes toward her so that no eavesdropping ears may hear and he hisses. ‘If it gets out that you have the last remaining line of Durin swimming in your womb, your ELVEN womb, you just may cause another bloody war! Dain may kill you to assure his position as the newly minted King Under the Mountain. Thranduil may kill you for cuckolding’s him, and the two sides may start killing each other just for fuck of it!’

‘Yes, I know. All of the above are possible.’ Elanan answers sadly. ‘But I wanted to come visit his tomb and make sure I had his name right.’

‘His name?’ Goodness, but are elves a funny sort Dwalin thinks. What could she need with getting his name right now? The lad is dead and returned to stone. 

‘I want to honor his child with a name similar to his.’ 

‘Well, that is fine and good, but you CANNOT have his child here at Erebor. It is far too dangerous for you AND the child.’

‘Agreed, I plan to go to Dol Amroth on the coast of Gondor, where my cousin, Adrahil lives with his wife and children. We will be safe there.’ 

‘What are we waiting for? Let’s get going!’ Dwalin barks. Elanan smiles at him but shakes her head. 

‘I need to see his tomb.’

Rolling his eyes so fiercely, one almost gets stuck, Dwalin huffs sarcastically, ‘Because you and he had REAL love, I suppose?’ 

‘Oh goodness no, good dwarf… don’t be ridiculous. We enjoyed each other, but it was not love. It could have become something like love I suppose, had we had different circumstances and more time, but I doubt it. He and I were very different kinds after all. However, we DID make life together.’ Elanan finishes and hums quietly to herself, rubbing her belly at her last words. 

‘Alright, nothing left for it then, I suppose. Follow me, but for all of our sakes, keep your heads down and your mouths shut.’ Dwalin commands to both Elanan and Landir as he turns to escort the pair of elves to the royal tombs of Erebor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got the idea for this stupid fic in December as I was watching the Lord of the Rings trilogy with my kids. The BOFA had left a horrible taste in my mouth as I thought it was so damn bad on so many levels. I wanted to watch LOTR as it stuck very close to the story that Tolkien actually wrote and not some load of shit PJ thought up as he did in the last two Hobbit movies. Anyway, it struck me how similar Boromir (Mr Sean Bean) and Fili (Mr Dean O'Gorman) look in the face. So I looked up Boromir's mother and lo & behold, her name was Finduilas, daughter of Prince Adrahil of Dol Amroth. And the idea was sparked. Now, Legolas's mother which he obviously had to have one is completely unknown as Tolkien NEVER wrote about her. Like ever. So I thought what the hell? I'll make her up to suite my needs for this story. I hope you like it. If you don't, oh well. Leave me comments if it makes you feel better. If you liked it, I would love to hear from you as it validates my own opinion, and who does NOT like that, yeah? One more chapter, then we are done.


	21. Very glad to hear it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sixty years later,at the Council of Elrond, Dwalin divulges to Gloin the unexpected events that had transpired while the dwarves had been imprisoned in Mirkwood and what had happened after Elanan had shown up at Erebor post BOFA. He explains the blood line of a future member of the Fellowship of the Ring, Boromir of Gondor and how the line of Durin had NOT been broken after all.

Sixty years later

At the Council of Elrond, Gimli notices his father and his older cousin studying the blonde man from Gondor, Boromir son of Denethor. Although Gloin and Dwalin are getting on in years, both had insisted on accompanying the young dwarf, Gimli, to the very important and very secret Council of Elrond held in Rivendell at the behest of Lord Elrond, King of the Elves and Gandalf the Grey Wizard. 

Mordor had risen again and was once again threatening all free peoples. Elves, Dwarves, and Men would band together in an attempt to rid Middle Earth of a truly awesome power, the legendary One Ring of Sauron. As Dain, King Under the Mountain, and oh how just the sound of the title with THAT name sticks in Gloin’s craw, Dain was too old to make the journey from the Lonely Mountain to Rivendell, and his son, Thorin Stonehelm, another name that just rubbed Gloin WRONG, was deemed too young and inexperienced to come in his father’s stead.

Too young, snorts Gloin. Thorin Stonehelm is decades older in age than either of the youngest members of the company of Thorin Oakenshield, Fili and Kili, had been at the time of the quest to reclaim their ancestral home, Erebor. So the next closest blood relations to the King Under the Mountain, who are willing and able to make the journey, Gloin, his son, Gimli, and his cousin, Dwalin are the representatives for the dwarves at the Council of Elrod in Rivendell. 

The longer Gimli watches his elders, the more the unsettled he becomes. His father, Gloin, has a squinty-eyed expression as he studies the blonde Boromir. And Dwalin? Well, as his cousin sizes up the Gondorian warrior, Dwalin wears the most shiteating grin on his old mug that Gimli has EVER seen. What in Mahal’s name do the two dwarves find so damn fascinating about the man from Gondor? 

Gloin catches the expression on Dwalin’s face and he gestures towards Boromir questioningly. Dwalin just grins wider and shakes his bald head. Leaning forward, the old tattooed dwarf says, ‘I’ll tell you later. It is quite a story.’

Gloin snorts louder and gets a glare from Gandalf for it. Gloin hisses under his breath. ‘Tell me NOW!’

Scooting his chair closer to Gloin also garnering a death glare from Gandalf, to whom Dwalin shoots a rude hand gesture in response, Dwalin leans over to whisper to his cousin.

‘Remember when we were in Mirkwood during the quest for Erebor? You know, after that fuckwit, Gandalf there had ABANDONED us in that horrible forest, and we were imprisioned by that equally fuckwitted Thranduil, the father of the skinny little elven princeling there?’ At the last, Dwalin indicates Legolas seated on the other side of the large circle of representatives. 

When Gloin nods that he remembers, Dwalin, continues. ‘Well, Fili MAY just have engaged in… sexual relations with a certain elven queen.’ 

THUD- Gloin falls over and out of his chair quite interrupting the whole somber council proceeds. 

‘I will throw your two hairy dwarven asses OUT of here if you don’t be QUIET!’ Hisses Gandalf. Dwalin gives the flustered wizard another rude hand gesture and helps his stunned cousin up and off the floor. 

Once he is reseated, Dwalin cautions Gloin, ‘Now, the rest is EVEN more shocking so, please hold on to the chair so you don’t do that again, yeah?’ Nodding dumbly, Gloin grips the sides of his chair tightly. 

‘Alright, and just MAYBE this elven queen became pregnant that night with a certain little blonde’s bairn. Now, Gloin, do NOT fall over on me, you hear me?’ Getting sufficient assurance that Gloin would stay upright, the bald dwarf continues. ‘Since that elven queen was cousin to Prince Adrahir of Dol Amroth, just MAYBE, after she showed up at Erebor to see Fili’s tomb, she went to Gondor after the Battle of Five Armies to avoid another bloody confrontation between elves and dwarves. There she had the part elven, dwarven and human babe, a tiny blonde bonnie lass, she named Finduilas.’

Gulping like a fish out of water, Gloin stares numbly at his cousin. When it is apparent that Dwalin thinks his explanation is sufficient, Gloin chokes out. ‘What happened to Fili’s child, Finduilas?’ 

‘Finduilas was adopted by Prince Adrahir and his wife and added to their family. The lass grew into a legendary beauty who just happened to wed Denethor, the Steward of Gondor, and who just happened to have two sons. One of whom is sitting just there.’ Using his bushy eyebrows, Dwalin indicates Boromir. Leaning back, Dwalin smirks at Gloin’s open mouthed, shocked expression. 

Shit, Dwalin thinks, his cousin looks like he just may keel over with heart failure, but the old dwarf who once had the fire red hair that has now gone gray rallies. Nodding, he croaks, ‘Looks a lot like the lad in the face he does.’ 

Shaking his head to clear it, Gloin rubs a gnarled hand over his eyes and studies Boromir again. A smile slowly spreads across his face. ‘So the line of Durin had NOT been broken that awful day, yeah? Just diluted a bit and mixed with other kinds? Glad to hear it. VERY glad to hear, cousin.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok- Gloin does accompany Gimli to the Council of Elrod in the Fellowship of the Rings; however, Dwalin did NOT. I just added him as it made a better ending to this little fic. Also, while Boromir is the son of Denethor and Finduilas, he is NOT the grandson of Fili the dwarf. I just made that up, too. It makes a good little twist to the end.


End file.
